Are you a victim of parental alienation? Parental alienation syndrome is a pathological alignment dynamic that is most common when competing adults indoctrinate children by jealously denigrating other targeted parents and grandparents. When a divorce occurs, child custody, and the dividing of property is assigned by the court based on accusations by competing parents angrily assigning blame and jealously claiming fault of their partner. Adoption creates a similar social dynamic when adoptees are pressured to chose between competing parents.
When I was a child, my adopted mother Rosella maliciously stated her opinions about my birth mother with the morally corrupt intent of disgracing and demeaning her to make her own authority and disposition seem more worthy. “Your poor attitude and impulsive nature is psychologically and genetically inherited from your biological parents. You are predestined to fail because you are a self-fulfilling prophecy emulating your birth parents’ original sins and bad behavior.” Her spiteful, angry words were powerfully toxic and continued burning into my consciousness long after they had been said.
Parental alienation syndrome is a social dynamic and disorder in which an indoctrinated child, on an ongoing basis, belittles and insults one parent, or set of parents, without justification. The estranged child unreasonably rejects, and expresses an unjustified hatred and unreasonably strong dislike of non-custodial parents, that makes access by the rejected parents impossible. The child appears rude, ungrateful, spiteful, and cold toward the targeted parents, and impervious to feelings of guilt about their harsh treatment. They attempt to get whatever they can from the alienated parents, declaring that it is owed to them. Gratitude for gifts and favors provided by the targeted parents is nonexistent. Children with parental alienation syndrome are consumed with hatred and preoccupied with a campaign of denigration.
Alienated children perceive the estranged parents as wholly flawed and have no interest in hearing the targeted parent’s point of view. Nothing the targeted parent could do or say makes any difference to them. When they are questioned about the reasons for their intense hostility they make wild accusations that are weak, frivolous, or absurd based on rationalizations that could not possibly be true. Children with this condition deny that their feelings about the targeted parents or grandparents are in any way influenced by the alienating parents, and invoke the concept of free will to describe their actions. If they are asked to identify just one negative aspect of the alienating parent, he or she will probably draw a complete blank. This is in contrast to normal children who can talk about each parent as having both good and bad qualities.
Even in adulthood, children with parental alienation syndrome deny any positive past experiences, reject all contact and communication, and steadfastly refuse to visit the targeted parents. Parents who were once loved and valued become hated and feared. Finally, the hatred of the targeted parents spreads to extended family members. Not only is the targeted parent denigrated, despised, and avoided, but so are formerly beloved grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins who are also completely avoided and rejected.
Reference: Xenophobia Parentis is the fear of birth parents
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