Your father is not who you think.

Julia is in a perplexed and chaotic state of confusion, disoriented, and having difficulty focusing. Amazed at the strange turn of the fate of her life, she is engaged in compassionate self-talk and reaching out for support because she cannot decide what to do or think. She is puzzled and frustrated because she cannot understand or explain something.

“Discovering information about your ancestors, celebrating family traditions, embracing your ancestral culture, and understanding where you came from can open your eyes to how beautiful and unique you are. Cultural heritage implies a shared bond that helps us understand previous generations and the history of our origins. Ancestral discovery can increase your sense of being, give your self-worth a boost, and even be inspiring.” Judith Land

Julia was unprepared to have her life rocked by what she discovered—results that prove her father is not her father. Bewildered and perplexed, she repeated the test on multiple platforms, all with the same identical results. The pie chart proved one half of her DNA was from Italy. A million things from her past flashed through her head, and she became reticent. She had feelings and questions that couldn’t be explained, except by a novelist in a who-done-it mystery.

Most people find ancestral recovery an exciting and enriching pursuit, but not everyone welcomes the truth. DNA tests have the potential to bring to light infidelities and generations-old secrets. DNA may uncover lies, extramarital affairs, illegitimate births, and adoptions.

Julia’s story is dramatic, but it is not unique. Learning something so significant as a change in identity is the equivalent of the federal witness protection plan unwillingly imposed on you. Perhaps, there should be some advice from the major companies about how to approach these situations.

Julia’s parents are deceased, and DNA identifies her mother’s high school, sweetheart, and neighbor as the birth father. How would you advise Julia to feel and think now that she has discovered five generations of relatives she never knew existed?

Judith Land



About Judith Land

Judith Land lives in Colorado and Arizona with husband and coauthor Martin Land. Judith is a former nurse, retail shop owner, college instructor and avid outdoor person. Her book "Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child" is a true story detailing the journey of Judith Romano, foster child and adoptee, as she discovers fragments of her background, and then sets out to solve the mystery as an adult. She has reached readers in 192 countries. "Mothers and fathers everywhere in the world need to understand that children are forever and always." --Judith Land
This entry was posted in adoptee, Adoption, Children, Judith Land, Life, Parenting, Relationships and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Your father is not who you think.

  1. ginny09 says:

    Birth is a lottery, we cannot choose how we are created. Therefore, know your heritage to know your health care..


    • Judith Land says:

      To help focus attention on the importance of family medical history, the Surgeon General declared Thanksgiving to be National Family History Day. Over the Thanksgiving holiday when families gather together to share a meal, Americans are urged to talk about, and to write down, the health problems that seem to run in their family. Health care professionals have known for a long time that hemophilia, cystic fibrosis, heart disease, sickle cell anemia and many other diseases are hereditary. Despite the increasing emphasis on diagnostic technology, many physicians perceive the medical history as the preeminent source of information with a much higher value in diagnosis than either the physical examination or laboratory and radiography information. Tracing the illnesses suffered by parents, grandparents, and other blood relatives helps doctors predict the disorders to which their descendants are at risk, prescribe early diagnostic measures, and recommend preventive actions to keep their children and grandchildren healthy. Learning about family health history can help ensure a longer, healthier future and even save lives.

    • Judith Land says:

      Adoption is a Twist of Fate

      “Giving a child up for adoption should never be like playing the Wheel of Fortune or the thrill provided by Russian roulette with a delicious cocktail in hand. Choice determines everything. Some parents treat life as a risky crapshoot. The father of mischief and the thrill-seeking mother that cast lots together result in a child of avarice—the sacrificial goat and the scapegoats.” Judith Land

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