“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. Good communication is the language of leadership. Honest communication is built on truth and integrity and upon the respect of others. Wise people speak because they have something to say; fools because they unwisely and imprudently have to say something.” Judith Land
“Adoption triggers a never ending catalog of unfamiliar situations and a litany of emotional responses, feelings and sentiments. The better we are at communicating our thoughts and feelings to others, the more likely we are to discover the truths behind the answers we are seeking.” Judith Land
Adoption is a self-perpetuating continuation of a difficult situation that is never ending, even without outside intervention. There are many things to know about children; it is only through continual communication that we learn the best ways to nurture, guide, discipline, and protect the most vulnerable children.
How well you understand and communicate with others has a considerable impact on how successful you will be in every arena of life. People who communicate effectively find it easier to understand others, make good choices, and resolve conflicts in a healthy manner. To discover what someone else is thinking we must learn to listen actively, empathize, and acknowledge other viewpoints.
Good communication means knowing how to ask questions that clarify what a person is trying to say, and be able to coherently explain our own point of view. Understanding others means going beyond the words they speak and learning how to interpret the unspoken. Knowing how to read other people’s styles and motives makes it easier to work with others effectively. When we explain ourselves clearly, we are more easily understood. If we succinctly make our point the first time, there may be less confusion and frustration.
Good communication saves you time and energy, helps things go more smoothly and decreases misunderstandings. People respect individuals who are forthright and when you are straightforward, others will admire your courage and personal strength. Quiet firmness goes a long way toward influencing others to honor your needs. When you seek feedback, you discover the impact of your behavior on others and when you exchange feedback, you are enlightened. When you give feedback to others your relationships become fuller and more meaningful and when you influence others positively, you are valued.
Good communication makes it easier to motivate and influence others to take action, helps make persuasive appeals, and reduce resistance to change. To be in a more commanding position to influence others, you must become the kind of person who is able to speak clearly to know and unearth the needs of others, and link them in an effective way to what you have to mutually offer each other.
Judith Land
Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child 
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