What is the Adoption Paradox?

“Why don’t adopted kids do as well in school as one would expect from their parents’ higher education level and wealth? Despite the advantages provided by many adoptive parents, their adopted children tend to struggle emotionally and psychologically with more negative behavior and lower academic outcomes than birth children. This observable condition is known as the adoption paradox,” Judith Land. 

“The adoption paradox is an observable condition in children with adoptive parents that results from separating babies from their birth mothers. The primal loss of the birth mother affects the child’s origins of emotional life and relationships with others throughout life—a deep, long-lasting psychological condition known as the primal wound,” Judith Land.

Adoptive parents tend to be married, more affluent, educated, socially conservative, and religious. They are more inclined to work together, listen, and offer moral support and encouragement. They spend more time with their children and stay involved in school functions. Their extra time and resources provide significant economic and social opportunities associated with academic achievement, interpersonal compatibility, and career success.

However, abundant family resources do not always produce excellent outcomes. Many adoptees do not perform as well in school as one would expect from their advantageous home environments. Adoptees tend to display less interest and enthusiasm for academic learning. Despite their advantages, they are more likely to achieve lower scores on reading and math assessments. They tend to be less socially adjusted, display negative attitudes, exhibit problem behavior, and create more conflicts with other students.

The assumption is that deficiencies can be overcome by investing more time and money. So, why don’t adoptive parents’ plentiful resources and strenuous nurturing efforts lead to better classroom conduct and higher achievement? Because adoptive parents’ educational attainments are exceptionally high, the genetic endowment of most children available for adoption is likely to be lower than the intellectual accomplishments and resources of their adoptive parents. When achievement results don’t meet expectations, the condition is known as the adoption paradox—a common phenomenon for adoptive parents.

The lack of a stable maternal bond produces long-lasting social development deficits, which are not easily remedied by a change in home environment, no matter how favorable the circumstances. Regardless of the level of intellectual stimulation and encouragement adoptive parents provide their child, they may not be able to overcome the limitations of the child’s early psychological deprivation, traumatic emotional stress, and genetic heritage. Attachment theory, traumatic stress theory, and behavioral genetics provide some answers. A warm, intimate, and continuous relationship with the birth mother is essential for children’s mental health. The primal wound theory holds that infants who do not develop a stable and secure bond during early childhood are subject to distress reactions and abnormal feelings and exhibit hostile behavior toward others. The severity of their long-term emotional scars depends on the intensity and duration of the stress, effects that a supportive adoptive family may only partly ameliorate. 

Adoptive parents are invaluable in giving children a chance at a better life. They should be praised and supported for their valuable contributions to society. Ultimately, most adoptees enjoy lives far better than those in foster homes and institutions. Watching children grow and blossom into something beautiful and productive over time is highly rewarding. Many adopted children may never reach their full potential without nurturing and a positive environment.

Judith Land

http://www.adoptiondetectivejudithland.com