Category Archives: Dear Adoption

Adoption—Paternal Bonding

“Mother-infant bonding is a common theme in parenting research but infants can and do also create bonds with their fathers. Less is known about paternal bonding that tends to be based on physical and highly stimulating interaction, reflecting an exhilarating … Continue reading

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Adoption—What is the meaning of énouement?

“Enouement is the bittersweet sorrows of having arrived in the future and not being able to tell your past self how things eventually turned out.” Judith Land Most adoptees experience feelings of enouement at least once in their life. Enouement … Continue reading

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Adoption—How does it feel?

“Pain is a multidimensional experience with numerous areas of the brain activated. If pain following trauma is the fault of another person, the brain’s response is heightened; recovery is hindered and the risk of pain and disability in the years … Continue reading

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Adoption – Street Smarts or Book Smarts?

“Most of the time, learning occurs in not-so ideal situations—what I call chance learning. The brain loves novelty and when we see something odd or unusual we are more likely to remember the experience. That’s part of the reason our … Continue reading

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Adoption – The importance of Communication

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. Good communication is the language of leadership. Honest communication is built on truth and integrity and upon the respect of others. Wise people speak because they … Continue reading

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Adoption – Staying afloat

“Have you ever felt as though you are simply treading water, desperately trying to stay afloat, while hoping to escape a difficult life situation? Without positivism, how long can anyone remain adrift? What’s the alternative to sinking altogether?” Judith Land … Continue reading

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Adoption—Life in a Snow Globe

“I grew up with an idealistic spirit with a widespread belief in an amazing future that was just around the corner, much like the image in a winter scene captured by painter Thomas Kinkade, an idealized version of humanity depicting … Continue reading

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Adoption detectives help adoptees find their way home

“An adoption detective is an individual who researches biological and genetic connections between individuals. They conduct searches of public and private records, research historical documents, and interview persons of interest for the purpose of uncovering genealogical information linking biologically related … Continue reading

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Adoption—The Extraordinary Power of Expectations

“Manage your expectations wisely because the disappointment of failed expectations can shackle us forever and make our lives and the lives of others more miserable than they ever needed to be.” Judith Land Our lives are directly influenced by our … Continue reading

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Adoption—Striving for the Brass Ring

“Striving for the ‘Brass Ring’ means aiming for a chance at success. If you are a participant in an adoption story what is your definition of affluence and a blockbuster Hollywood ending?” Judith Land The brass ring is symbolic of … Continue reading

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