“The homing instinct for a child separated from its biological mother is like a steady and reliable compass needle that always points north.” Judith Land
Maternal separation and a deep sense of loss are adoption’s core issues. Every adopted child experiences a loss of some kind—whether grieving from the separation from their birth family or losing control of what a child experiences in their early life. Understanding this loss and the resulting grief it causes can help adoptive parents be more sympathetic and kind.
Many adoptees experience hurtful feelings of isolation and separation, even in a crowd—a mournful sense of loss and spiritual longing for something intangible that is missing drives them. The absence of a comfortable, happy, loving relationship with the mother produces feelings of profound sadness, sleep-disturbed longing, and bewilderment.
To remedy the situation:
- Find happiness by being positive and supportive of others.
- Aggressively solve communication challenges, and don’t be afraid to express bothersome feelings to adoptive parents.
- Read a good book.
- Cultivate a relationship with a kind, elderly neighbor that is intelligent and understanding.
- Develop friendships and positive relationships with the potential to be extraordinary that will fulfill you abundantly.
Striving to be a good mother, a good wife, a good sister, and a good listener is often the best way to find solace and comfort, peace, and relief from the emotional pangs of separation. Thankfully, with adulthood comes a greater sense of forgiveness, understanding, reassurance, and ease from the distress and sadness resulting from early separation and adoption.
Judith Land
Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child 
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