The Homing Instinct

“The homing instinct for a child separated from its biological mother is like a steady and reliable compass needle that always points north.” Judith Land

“Adoptive parents who have abundant love for the orphaned children they meet in their dreams that they demonstrate unwavering support for, believe in, and show thanks and pride under the umbrella of unconditional love are virtuous.” Judith Land

Maternal separation and a deep sense of loss are adoption’s core issues. Every adopted child experiences a loss of some kind—whether grieving from the separation from their birth family or losing control of what a child experiences in their early life. Understanding this loss and the resulting grief it causes can help adoptive parents be more sympathetic and kind.

Many adoptees experience hurtful feelings of isolation and separation, even in a crowd—a mournful sense of loss and spiritual longing for something intangible that is missing drives them. The absence of a comfortable, happy, loving relationship with the mother produces feelings of profound sadness, sleep-disturbed longing, and bewilderment.

To remedy the situation:

  1. Find happiness by being positive and supportive of others.
  2. Aggressively solve communication challenges, and don’t be afraid to express bothersome feelings to adoptive parents.
  3. Read a good book.
  4. Cultivate a relationship with a kind, elderly neighbor that is intelligent and understanding.
  5. Develop friendships and positive relationships with the potential to be extraordinary that will fulfill you abundantly.

Striving to be a good mother, a good wife, a good sister, and a good listener is often the best way to find solace and comfort, peace, and relief from the emotional pangs of separation. Thankfully, with adulthood comes a greater sense of forgiveness, understanding, reassurance, and ease from the distress and sadness resulting from early separation and adoption.

Judith Land

“A powerful personal story that belongs in the Pantheon of Adoption Classics. I was deeply moved by the heartbreaking narrative of this adoptee, but at the same time, the mystery buff in me breathlessly turned the pages to find out how or if Judy finally finds her truth. As you read this shocking and amazing book, keep reminding yourself: This really happened.” Donna Montalbano 

About Judith Land

Judith Land lives in Colorado and Arizona with husband and coauthor Martin Land. Judith is a former nurse, retail shop owner, college instructor and avid outdoor person. Her book "Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child" is a true story detailing the journey of Judith Romano, foster child and adoptee, as she discovers fragments of her background, and then sets out to solve the mystery as an adult. She has reached readers in 192 countries. "Mothers and fathers everywhere in the world need to understand that children are forever and always." --Judith Land
This entry was posted in adopted, adoptee, Adoption, Children, Judith Land, Life, Parenting and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.