Learning You were Adopted is an Epiphany

“Adoption awareness is a moment of sudden realization and insight—an epiphany. Adults who discover that they were adopted may experience a wide range of emotions, including betrayal, abandonment, despair, and an inability to trust those who kept the secret from them.” Judith Land 

Richard was fifty-five years old when his mother told him he was adopted—shocking. She was ill and casually mentioned the subject shortly before she died.

When Richard learned he was adopted, tears welled up in his eyes. It was an emotional awakening that aroused intense feelings of rejection, mystery, curiosity, and disbelief. He daydreamed of standing in the middle of a battlefield. This moment was his epiphany, a sudden intuitive insight into reality, followed by self-doubt.

His adoptive parents were dark-haired and French, but according to his mother, his original parents were Swedish, which explained why his children were tall, light-haired, and fair-skinned.

Richard was grateful a good family adopted him, but learning that he was adopted was emotionally traumatic, causing him to feel a sense of rejection, relinquishment trauma, grief, curiosity, and loss of his true identity.

“Why didn’t they keep me? Why did you keep this secret from me for so long?” he wondered. Questions his mother never answered.

Judith Land


About Judith Land

Judith Land lives in Colorado and Arizona with husband and coauthor Martin Land. Judith is a former nurse, retail shop owner, college instructor and avid outdoor person. Her book "Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child" is a true story detailing the journey of Judith Romano, foster child and adoptee, as she discovers fragments of her background, and then sets out to solve the mystery as an adult. She has reached readers in 192 countries. "Mothers and fathers everywhere in the world need to understand that children are forever and always." --Judith Land
This entry was posted in adopted, adoptee, Adoption, Children, Life, Parenting and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.