Adoption—Are you burned out?

“There’s an old adage that you can’t get burned out unless you used to be on fire. Being burned out is a clear sign that you were once hotly passionate about an issue that was important to you.” —Judith Land

Judith Land | Adoption Detective | burned out

I have many friends with great ideas for patents that would improve the lives of others, generate profits and exclude others from making, using, or selling their invention. A few of these individuals have become wealthy, while the others have allowed their ideas to languish on the shelf. Many individuals associated with an adoption have responded to challenges in much the same way as patent holders—their dreams and ideas have either been fulfilled or languished on the dusty shelves of obscurity.

Why hasn’t your dream been fulfilled? What caused your enthusiasm to wane? Perhaps, if your expectations aren’t being met, you are gradually running out of fuel and your enthusiasm has simply declined due to a lack of progress and increased age. When we are young we naturally feel enthusiastic, optimistic, and energetic about new ideas and experiences; it is easy for us to launch a vision quest to expand our horizons, survive multiple setbacks, and change directions. As we pass through various stages of life wisdom gradually accrues and emotional intelligence intensifies. Exposure to a wider variety of experiences grounds us and increases our insight into important issues and the motives of others. Eventually, if we remain in a static place too long our spirit dulls and our passions dwindle. Wholeheartedness and commitment fade as we become more complacent and accepting of the status quo. Over time, energy levels tend to decline and we naturally become more skeptical and pessimistic about the value of contemporary ideas, new frontiers, and alternative lifestyles.

What about you? Have the flames that were your life’s passion of yesteryear been reduced to blackened smoldering ashes—burned out long ago and out of fuel? Have the flames of youthful passion cooled and turned to dust because you doubted yourself; you didn’t know how to get started or accomplish your goals; you didn’t budget enough time; you lacked confidence; or did you simply lose your nerve? What was the one great idea that lit your passions and excited you? What would it take to rekindle the flame?

It is a fact that when coals are spread out the heat dissipates and the fire gets cold but when the coals are stirred and placed in close proximity to each other they create lots of flame and burn very hot. The message is simple, if you need a jolt, connect, collaborate and consult with others affected by an adoption that share the same youthful passions. Some adults endlessly debate whether or not to adopt or foster someone else’s child but the years go by and they never take action. Birth parents, foster parents, social workers, clergy, and extended family members often remain curious about a particular child wondering if they had a better life as promised but they never actually take the time to investigate. Adoptees suffering from genealogical bewilderment speak of a reoccurring desire to know something about the relevance of the past and speak of an inherent natural aspiration to reconnect with lost family members. It is one of the greatest passions of youth to be inquisitive about their native country, place of origin, race, and culture but the reality of a reunion with birth parents often remains an unfulfilled fantasy due to internal fears and an insurmountable bureaucracy.

Library shelves are filled with good advice about how to take charge of your life and initiate action and many organizations exist for the sole purpose of helping adoptees. If you have a desire to regain your youthful enthusiasm and accomplish a lifelong goal, try taking action by concentrating on your top two or three most important priorities. If getting started seems overly difficult, begin with something that doesn’t seem so distressing and ask for the advice and support of others. Focusing on results is the best way to rid you of uncertainty and create a positive attitude. Maintain a lighter state of mind and your tasks will seem easier. Make a decision to commit to follow through with your life’s desires and do the things you always wanted to do with vim and vigor. Try to stay positive and choose the path that will provide the greatest pleasure.

Judith Land

 

Adoption Detective

adopción | adoção | Annahme | 採用 | 양자 | pag-aampon | υιοθεσία | adopsjon

About Judith Land

Judith Land lives in Colorado and Arizona with husband and coauthor Martin Land. Judith is a former nurse, retail shop owner, college instructor and avid outdoor person. Her book "Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child" is a true story detailing the journey of Judith Romano, foster child and adoptee, as she discovers fragments of her background, and then sets out to solve the mystery as an adult. "Mothers and fathers everywhere in the world need to understand that children are forever and always." --Judith Land
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