Adoption—Fighting for your Destiny

“The day we give up on small fights and start focusing on our destiny is the day we start becoming successful and content with the way things are,” Judith Land 

Life is an awkward frustrating toffee pull for many adoptees. Their lives are complicated and their relationships more complex than they often need to be. They have many more things to think about and more family issues to deal with that lead to confusion and disagreements. The more muddled the situation becomes, the harder it is for them to calm down, adjust to circumstances, and concede other points of view. 

“Many adoptees find themselves in difficult situations that naturally lead to disagreements, conflict, and strife. They struggle for autonomy, privacy, equality, self-determination, and freedom. They are goaded into bickering and feuding with other family members and peers, often over trivial issues. Disagreements are a way of life, but they don’t have to cause havoc. There are many books on how to deal with disagreements effectively and they should be available when needed.” Judith Land

What adoptees eventually must learn is that one of the greatest turning points in life is when you come to the realization that it isn’t worth spending a lifetime consumed by negative thoughts triggered by resentment, feeling sorry for yourself, self-pity, and regret—knowing that it’s fruitless to blindly resist reality and continue to pick fights with everyone who disagrees with you. 

To be successful in life, learn to choose what you fight for wisely and know that small fights are for small fighters. Stop fighting against the gossipers and the trouble makers. Stop fighting public expectations of how you should live and behave. Stop fighting in laws, colleagues and friends who aren’t true. Stop fighting to change the opinions of stupid people with small minds. Stop resisting and give up on fighting for small things—insignificant things of little consequence—things that aren’t worth your time. Stop fighting for attention, fighting with family, fighting with inconsiderate people, fighting for your rights, fighting to please everyone, fighting to prove others are wrong about you. 

Use common sense and fight for important things that are attainable. Take responsibility for your life and career to determine which direction your life will go. Know that you can change your destiny by defining your goals and focusing on your vision for the future, based on who you are and what you do. Power your dreams with hope to alter future outcomes to ensure your destiny. This is the path to happiness.

Judith Land