Adoption Triggers Intense Feelings

“Life is an endless trial. Death is the certain verdict. Pain teaches you more than pleasure. Adversity teaches you more than comfort. Even a small glimmer of hope tantalizingly far in the future, can help adoptees overcome the anxieties and traumas of daily living.” Judith Land 

“Adoption is a huge life-altering event that triggers complex emotional responses in adopted children. A lack of control and power leads to anxiety, fear, and anger, resulting in attachment disorders, a negative sense of identity, difficulty with intimacy, and emotional trauma.” Judith Land

When the adoptee mind reaches for understanding and relevancy during times of darkness, confusion, and deep distress, powerful emotions and intense feelings are evoked in the conscious mind.

Emotions are the outward display of our feelings about circumstances and the people we are with. Emotions are reflected in our behavior, mood, body language, thoughts, and verbal responses. The world cannot be fathomed or described without talking about how we feel about things. Many of our emotional responses are triggered by speculation and abstract concepts, rather than concrete facts and events. Glory, love, honor, courage, death, beauty and poetry are examples of abstract thoughts that trigger complex thoughts, sentiments, and reactions that are often difficult to describe in ways that others can comprehend. 

Adoptees with the highest levels of ‘emotional intelligence’ are more likely to possess a higher degree of empathy for others. By understanding how another person feels about certain things, they can profoundly understand with deep insight what the other person is communicating. Those who understand the profundity of others share the greatest insights and depth of knowledge and often sense these things without words. 

Emotions are a natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one’s circumstances, mood, and relationships with others. Understanding the consequences of emotions is critical to healthy living and future success. Sadness is emotion characterized by feelings of disappointment, grief, hopelessness, disinterest, and a dampened mood. Fear is the emotional response to an anticipated negative social situation. Disgust is a sense of revulsion to things we hope to avoid. Anger has negative mental and physical consequences on our health. Surprise triggers flight or flee responses that trigger spontaneous memories. Happiness is a pleasant emotional state characterized by feeling of joy, gratification, contentment and well-being. Happiness is also linked to increased longevity and satisfaction in relationships. 

No one is born with success. Our emotional reactions to circumstances, tribulations, and frustrations test our faith, temper our passions, shape our character, and help us succeed. The higher our destiny, the greater the obstacles we are forced to overcome, and the more important it is to display emotional intelligence.

Judith Land