Four Kinds of Adoption

“There are four kinds of adoption: nefarious, forgivable, warranted, and praiseworthy.” Judith Land

Gyula Benczúr (Nyiregyháza 1844 – Dolány 1920) – My Children, 1881

“DNA has overridden centuries of secretive sealed birth and adoption records intended to withhold the identity of biological parents from public disclosure confidentially.” Judith Land

As the adoption industry migrates to social media, many regretful adoptees and birth mothers confront the world with their pain and anger. Birth mothers express pressure, regret, and lifelong mourning for the children they gave up. Adoptees talk about their sense of estrangement, lack of psychological bonding, and deficiency of medical history.

Nefarious adoptions are highly objectionable and offensive. Strangers of questionable character coercing a mother into giving up her baby violate time-honored laws of nature and social conduct laws. It is a felonious act to separate a mother from her child without her permission and market that child for adoption. If a baby is stolen and sold for profit, the baby-brokering actions of the beneficiaries are criminal. It is corrupt for handlers and go-betweens to knowingly accept payment for a child illegally and cruelly separated from the biological parents. Corruption, child trafficking, and the treatment of adoptable children as a commodity are heartbreaking. Unregulated child redistribution by predatory individuals is a global issue.

Forgivable adoptions occur when the biological parents and close relatives are deceased, incapable, and physically or mentally unable to carry out their duties and responsibilities as parents. Separating a mother and child is traumatic for both. Protecting the ethereal bond between a biological mother and child should be preserved whenever possible. Still, there may be a higher potential for a better quality of life with another set of parents in these cases. Alternative parents exhibiting integrity may provide more positive opportunities and emotional stability for a healthier, moral, and productive life. Close family relatives are often the best choice. 

Warranted adoptions occur when the parents are unready, incompetent, and incapable of raising a child independently. Rehabilitation, food stamps, child care subsidies, and assistance from close family members should be encouraged as short-term solutions to give unsteady, indigent mothers more time to reverse a decision to give up their child. Delaying the decision allows more time before a child is legally separated and offered to strangers. If this process is unregulated, great harm may befall the child. Warranted adoptions should only take place after vigorously exhausting all other possibilities.

Praiseworthy adoptions result from desperate situations when children are in immediate peril and need of assistance. Parents are deceased or truly incapable, often resulting from disastrous events, pandemics, war, pestilence, accidents, and natural disasters. Praiseworthy adoptions occur when virtuous parents with a habit of goodness exhibit a true sense of compassion, righteousness, and a genuine love of children. With heartfelt emotions, they comprehend the deep sense of loss the adopted child endures. They strive to perform good acts and give their best because the situation is morally justifiable. The parents most influence a child’s learning and socialization. Adoptive parents are praiseworthy when they provide encouragement, support, and access to activities that enable children to master essential developmental tasks. Happy parents raise happy children. 

Unfortunately, phycologists paint a dire picture of orphanages. 90% of children living in orphanages worldwide have at least one living parent that has willingly placed their child in the administrative incarcerated care of the ward state. Being adopted into a traditional family is almost always preferable to institutional care provided by orphanages.

Judith Land

About Judith Land

Judith Land lives in Colorado and Arizona with husband and coauthor Martin Land. Judith is a former nurse, retail shop owner, college instructor and avid outdoor person. Her book "Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child" is a true story detailing the journey of Judith Romano, foster child and adoptee, as she discovers fragments of her background, and then sets out to solve the mystery as an adult. She has reached readers in 192 countries. "Mothers and fathers everywhere in the world need to understand that children are forever and always." --Judith Land
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