“Adoption—Life is a Challenge”

“Life is challenging for adoptees because they have more things to think about and more personal issues to resolve.” Judith Land

There comes a day when turning the page is the best decision for you because you realize there is so much more to the book than the chapter you were stuck on. Change can be dramatic but when it is time to make a life adjustment, the smallest step in the right direction is often the most important of your life. The secret of transformation is not to fight the old but focus all of your energy on building the new by challenging yourself to improve. Old habits keep us back—but you must master new ways of thinking before you can master a new way to be. If you are on a path with no obstacles, it probably means you are complacent.

“If you are an adoptee caught in unpleasant relationships that are untenable and situations over which you have no control that are enduring, you must learn to challenge yourself to refashion the way you think and act by reorganizing and redesigning your life. You must consciously transform yourself through the acquisition of new skills that will help you metamorphose into someone new—the person you always wanted to be.” Judith Land

Are you an adoptee with missing chapters in your life’s backstory that are vexed by peerless omissions and vacuous darkness? The difficult tasks you may face are an opportunity to prove your ability to yourself, and to others. Everything of consequence that you ever do starts with a passion to do something extraordinary. When you challenge yourself and expand your horizons you achieve more and grow as a person. You learn to trust yourself more and you greatly increase the likelihood of having happiness and success in your life. Following is not the way to lead. Choosing the road less traveled is sometimes the best choice.

The way to achieve success in life means learning to start your day earlier, exercising more, committing to doing things culturally enriching, checking items off a to-do list, staying away from social media, meditating, and writing down your future hopes, dreams and obtainable goals. Favorable outcomes result from aiming high in your personal life and career, meeting and interacting with new people, cultivating social skills, and growing in emotional intelligence.

Developing a passion for increasing your life skills and knowledge helps you gain confidence in the belief that you can succeed and triumph over adversity. Being productive and retaining a positive mentality is contagious and inspires others to help you achieve your goals. Patience and strategy skills are needed to determine relevant methods and directions for achieving goals. Climbing a mountain takes planning, vision, true grit and ambition. And, in many cases, initiating an adoption search to discover previously unrevealed historical events by anonymous ancestors requires backbone, courage, extreme fortitude and strength of character. There is a wealth of information just waiting to be discovered in courthouses, town halls, city and state archives, old newspapers and historical societies all across the country. Another treasure trove of genealogical information is DNA testing which is an affordable solution that is proving to be very useful in solving genealogical mysteries and clarifying medical history.

You can choose to sit in perpetual stagnancy, immobilized by the gravity of your loss and lack of a clear self-identity, or you can rise from the pain and cherish the most precious gift you have, life itself. You can’t stop the waves but you can learn to surf. Know your limitations and then defy them but be realistic—don’t quit your job at the bank to become a lion tamer. Hard work and discipline are what you need to succeed. Mysteries are what make life interesting and unraveling them is what makes life meaningful. Sometimes overcoming great difficulties are as simple as changing the way you think about the situation. People of accomplishment cause change by going in the direction of their own choosing, rather than simply reacting to altered circumstances. Keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason. The greater the obstacle, the greater the glory there is in overcoming it. Stay strong because things always get better eventually—it may be stormy today, but it never rains forever.

Judith Land