Adoption—Finding Solace

“The soul is the life force that makes us active and keeps us alive. It is a reflection of our inner person, personality, spirituality, and identity. When our soul is out of balance, nothing seems right, bad habits develop, our focus deteriorates, spirituality diminishes, and our souls suffer. Sometimes, for those with tears in their eyes, the only solace is knowing that someone we love will soon be in heaven.” Judith Land

Solace is a peaceful state of tranquility, quiet, and harmony during a time of distress—a feeling of comfort that makes you feel less sad. Solace is the opposite of ache, anguish, and suffering. If you’re an adoptee that feels wounded due to separation from significant others, consider doing these five things to keep your spirits alive and in balance.

  1. Increase self-care with a better diet, exercise, sleep habits, and hygiene. Comb your hair and brush your teeth. Avoid wrinkled and torn clothing and wear sunglasses to conceal those tired eyes.
  1. Increase self-discipline by avoiding uncomfortable situations and sleepless nights. Not finishing tasks and failing to meet commitments are signs of a chaotic unbalanced lifestyle. Learn to prevent destructive traits and nasty habits that negatively affect others.
  1. Try to be more consistent. Establish goals and be clear about what you want to accomplish. Show some initiative and energy. Commit to following through and avoid laziness.
  1. Concentrate on improving your mental and physical health. Calm your anxious spirit by sorting out the issues that cause you pain. Look inside yourself and make an effort to improve how you feel. Learn to see your potential. Concentrate on bouncing back after setbacks to improve your resiliency. Know that a healthy body keeps you well and active. Whereas a healthy soul keeps you fulfilled and content. 
  1. Making and keeping commitments are essential steps in finding balance. Force yourself to do better. Isolation leads to depression, which is never a good thing. 

Finding consolation and comfort in yourself and your own thoughts is a strength many have difficulty seeing in this fast-paced age. Sometimes, the best way to find solace is in solitude. Start small. Listen to music and talk to friends. Find comfort in reading and relief in writing. Go on a nature walk and take yourself out for a meal at someplace you always wanted to try. Plant a flower. Alleviate your grief and anxiety by reminiscing about pleasant things in your life. Authentically engage in activities that are an expression of your values. Do something you’re passionate about that makes you happy. Remember to be patient because finding solace takes moral and emotional strength.

Judith Land

About Judith Land

Judith Land lives in Colorado and Arizona with husband and coauthor Martin Land. Judith is a former nurse, retail shop owner, college instructor and avid outdoor person. Her book "Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child" is a true story detailing the journey of Judith Romano, foster child and adoptee, as she discovers fragments of her background, and then sets out to solve the mystery as an adult. She has reached readers in 192 countries. "Mothers and fathers everywhere in the world need to understand that children are forever and always." --Judith Land
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