Adoption—What is a soliloquy?

“Have you ever talked to yourself when you assumed nobody was listening? That’s a soliloquy. Adoption is a topic fraught with emotions, feelings, personal conflicts, tension, suspense, uncertainty, fear, and drama that stimulates self-reflection. It’s a topic that stimulates deep emotions and feelings coming from the heart and weighs them against the conscious realities of the mind. Every decision has collateral damages and lasting consequences—no wonder some individuals dealing with an adoption issue are prone to speaking to themselves out loud.” Judith Land

“O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?” This is the opening sentence of a romantic soliloquy by William Shakespeare. Juliet is speaking to herself, painfully wishing that her boyfriend Romeo had been born to different parents.

Hamlet exposes his innermost thoughts to the audience in a soliloquy. He is conflicted about whether he should continue to oppose city hall amidst a sea of troubles or simply give up. “Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles…”


Soliloquies are used to express our inner thoughts, personal problems and feelings, resolve arguments, explore different sides of an issue, and seek solutions to problems that trouble us. A soliloquy is a way of “talking to oneself” in a monologue, a poem, a dramatic speech, or unspoken reflections in response to events that trouble us. Speakers are trapped in their private thoughts in ways that reveal their emotions and feelings, motivations, and desires that would never be spoken aloud, if they were “aware” of anyone listening.

Emotional engagement is essential in the act of talking to oneself, particularly when we are conflicted about something that is explicitly going on in our life and there is a difficult decision to be made. Soliloquies illuminate our intimate thoughts, plans, pains, and motives in response to the events that trouble us. A soliloquy exposes our secret thoughts and intentions that we have in our mind by putting a light on relationships, thoughts, future actions, and the ways our decisions affect others.

Research suggests self-talk may help your brain perform better and that reading aloud helps sustain concentration and enhance performance. Soliloquies provide an emotional outlet for exposing strong feelings about difficult decisions that need to be made, especially when one is alone. They are a way of releasing raw emotional energy to describe perceptions, passions, apprehension, worries, and comprehension. Never be afraid to remind yourself how the topic of adoption has shaped your personality and family and altered your life’s trajectory.

Judith Land



About Judith Land

Judith Land lives in Colorado and Arizona with husband and coauthor Martin Land. Judith is a former nurse, retail shop owner, college instructor and avid outdoor person. Her book "Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child" is a true story detailing the journey of Judith Romano, foster child and adoptee, as she discovers fragments of her background, and then sets out to solve the mystery as an adult. She has reached readers in 192 countries. "Mothers and fathers everywhere in the world need to understand that children are forever and always." --Judith Land
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