Adoption—Self-discovery and Moral Character

“When life resembles a shipwreck, don’t forget to sing in the lifeboats—be happy knowing that it is far better to be living during a time when civilization is going to hell in a hand basket and collapsing all around you than struggling to rebuild and work your way back up from the depths of despair.” —Judith Land

Judith Land | Adoption Detective | Moral Character | Self-discovery

“‘Who are you?’ is an enigmatic puzzle that is mysteriously difficult to understand for adoptees whose lives are complicated by a clash of choices and voices ranging from the potentially intensely hurtful pains of self-discovery to the dull pain of unconsciousness that lasts forever.”   —Judith Land

The process of living life is about weighing opposing ethical choices against each other until a pattern of moral consistency develops. Self-discovery is more complex and complicated than simply finding your pedigree and sketching a family tree. Self-discovery is about consistency of purpose, righteousness, fortitude, spiritual beliefs, and moral character. With maturity comes a passion for learning. The challenge of self-discovery intensifies with age as the thirst for knowledge intensifies. Wisdom accrues. The mental ability to comprehend complex ideas expands and strengthens. Images of historic timelines and sequencing of lineal relationships solidifies. Comprehension of abstract concepts solidifies, becomes clearer and less ambiguous. The process of living gradually evolves into a continuous exercise in learning, growing, forming habits and attitudes, and evolves into a predictable structured way of thinking.

Life is ephemeral. It is a miscalculation to assume that today will be the same as tomorrow. Preserving your childhood is not an option. People come and go. The world turns. Time is a linear conveyor belt—an endless buffet of choices. Experiences that are temporarily good today will never be the same tomorrow. Holding on too tightly or too long to the pleasant memories of yesteryear may be the very reason you don’t know who you really are; what you want to be and what you truly desire. Finding your true purpose in life requires clarity of purpose and a coherent path to success.

The purpose of education is to acquire knowledge, illuminate the process of learning, and develop character. Great thinkers, theologians and philosophers consistently persuade us to believe that the virtues and integrity of nations are determined by the loyalty, trustworthiness, temperament, and resilience of its citizens. The moral character of each cultural group is determined by the aggregation of the common habits, wisdom and moral strength of each individual. The collective personality traits of its citizens form the nature of the nation. A strong moral character results from making consistently correct choices in the continuous trials and testing of life. You are never old until your regrets outnumber your dreams.

Judith Land



About Judith Land

Judith Land lives in Colorado and Arizona with husband and coauthor Martin Land. Judith is a former nurse, retail shop owner, college instructor and avid outdoor person. Her book "Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child" is a true story detailing the journey of Judith Romano, foster child and adoptee, as she discovers fragments of her background, and then sets out to solve the mystery as an adult. She has reached readers in 192 countries. "Mothers and fathers everywhere in the world need to understand that children are forever and always." --Judith Land
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5 Responses to Adoption—Self-discovery and Moral Character

  1. Lesley Earl says:

    ” Finding your true purpose in life requires clarity of purpose and a coherent path to success.” all of which to me the adopted person has been unavailable. I have been searching/dealing with the lessons since infancy. There are still huge holes and I’m feeling right pissed at my loss of self.

    • Judith Land says:

      Life is like riding a bicycle—we must learn to maintain our balance and continue moving forward. When our pace is too slow our equilibrium wanes. We become less stable and it becomes increasingly difficult to keep our balance. The fear of loosing focus and accidentally straying off-course is a reoccurring nightmare for the inquisitive adoptee seeking clarity and purpose for our time on earth. The discovery of ones true self is never easy when our life’s trajectory has been mysteriously altered or nefariously adjusted through no fault of our own. The journey to find the truth is a pilgrimage of the road and an ethereal journey of the mind for many adoptees—a trip of a lifetime to hallowed ground the individual is forced to make alone. Innumerable adoptees feel the pain of the refugee, disconnected, alienated and separated from their roots. If only reality could account for itself, we could comprehend with empowered insight a vision from God that would empirically solve the riddle of life’s labyrinth and the reasons for our birth.

  2. Lesley Earl says:

    I have been standing and balancing trying to move forward on this tightrope of life…the reason of my birth is still pretty irrelevant. I have no ENERGY to attempt to unravel that one, it is the least of my concerns. I want JOY, and pleasure in these last 20 years of surviving. Without those I would choose to not be here given the option.

    • Judith Land says:

      Happiness is an emotional state largely derived from encountering unexpected serendipitous events, seeing a significant other, and when basking in the acceptance and praise of others. Staying healthy is a key factor for remaining cheerful, lighthearted, and living longer. Self-actualizing people have more opportunities for peak experiences, profound moments of love, understanding, and happiness, that makes them feel more whole, alive, self sufficient, and connected with others. I think you might enjoy the following post optimistically pointing out that happiness can be learned. You are never old until your regrets outnumber your dreams.

  3. Pingback: Adoption—Individual Choice verses Collective Action | Adoption Detective | A True Story by Judith Land

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