“The most important thing I learned from my adoption search is, if a parent can love more than one child, then a child can love more than one parent.” —Judith Land, author & adoptee
This simple parable is the most endearing way of addressing the idea of choosing between birth parents and adopted parents (which really isn’t necessary and no adoptee should ever be forced to do so) because it is possible for an adoptee to love everyone equally, just as parents unconditionally love all of their children.
My outlook on life brightened when it occurred to me that my life had been enhanced by the addition of ‘four new mothers’ to love in addition to my adopted mother Rosella. The gratitude and appreciation I felt toward my adopted mother increased after I met my birth parents. Our many shared memories and the positive role she had played during my childhood were important to both of us. My birth mother Rebecca was an overnight celebrity in my life. I felt at ease with her because she was unconditionally accepting of me as her oldest daughter. The wonderful relationship we developed was cause for many joyous celebrations. My foster mother Priscilla was the third mother in my life. She was a wonderful friend—I truly loved her and my new foster sisters, Mary and Barbara. My forth mother was my mother-in-law Grace. We had many things in common. She was a classy lady with exceptional talents as a cook and entertainer, college teacher, artist, and writer. My fifth mother Vivian was my step mother and second wife of my adopted father. She was an excellent companion, avid golfer and boater, and a practical individual with an exceptional talent for keeping my father informed about current events and business news.
Knowing that a parent can love more than one child, and a child can love more than one parent helped me become a better person. After my adoption search I had more people to love in my life, and more people to love me. (Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child, p. 261)
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“Lo más importante que aprendí de mi búsqueda de la adopción es, si un padre puede amar a más de un hijo, entonces un niño puede amar a más de un padre.” —Judith Land, autor y adoptado