“Tears are like sparkling silver ingots, tiny oblong droplets of salt water glinting small flashes of light that soothe emotional pain like cold water on a burn.” Judith Land
Crying is a natural response to sorrow and frustration and a way of outwardly expressing our feelings and deepest heartfelt emotions. When someone is crying, their tears speak for themselves; no one has to ask what they’re feeling, or to explain anything. Tears help to reveal the truth and play an important role in communication as a way of sharing more than words that stimulates empathy in the mind of others. Crying is a sign that we are alive and a mechanism that can save relationships in distress. Crying lowers blood pressure, relieves stress, reduces magnesium in the blood, and has beneficial results that improve emotional, physical, and mental health. When we don’t cry emotional stresses have negative effects on the mind, the heart, and the body.
Most often we cry because we fear we made a mistake with regrettable consequences. We feel sad for the depraved and the lonely, not only in response to our own pain, shame, and embarrassment but because we’re moved to tears by other people’s sadness, too. Feelings of empathy trigger sympathetic tears because of what happened to another person. It is normal to react emotionally to events that are consequential and pivotal, even when a story has a happy fairytale ending. We cry when the development of events are beyond a person’s control; the course of someone’s life is inexplicably altered; the outcome of a particular situation is detrimental; and negative outcomes are inescapable. Some individuals cry tears of happiness as they reflect on their good fortune and the positive benefits adoption has provided; others don’t feel as fortunate. Even when adoption is the only choice, the separation of anonymous children from faceless unnamed parents seems unnatural. Regardless of why it happened and the severity of the post traumatic stress that may occur, separation is a heart wrenching life-altering event associated with great sadness for many adoptees that leaves them feeling downhearted, forlorn and dispirited. Their tears aren’t a symptom of weakness; they offer proof that they are human.
Have you ever noticed that you feel less sad and angry after a good cry? Some individuals believe that crying is beneficial to health and mental well being, that tears can be highly therapeutic and a potent healing experience. So the next time you experience sadness, grief, fear, regret and remorse, and feel tears welling up inside you, know that it is okay to release those heartfelt feelings of misery, despair, pain, and excessive happiness by having a good cry. Don’t be afraid to let the world know how you feel—go ahead and release those tears.
Judith Land, Adoptee
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