“Adoption—concealed carry!”

beauty girl cry

All humans conceal our emotions on a regular basis. If we don’t want anyone to know how we feel, we “put on a happy face” to cover up our feelings of distress. But, the brains of observers unconsciously detect that things aren’t right based on gut feelings, emotional intelligence, and the involuntary emotive expressions we see in others.


Do you “conceal your thoughts and carry your secrets” with you as a defense against public disclosure? Do you avoid divulging your deepest secrets because you view them as private and confidential? Some memories of past events are hard to forget and others were deeply hidden in the darkest folds of the primitive brain long ago. Are you haunted by secrets and faced with unsolvable dilemmas that you have been unwilling to share with others? Do you opt out of open conversations because you are fearful about what others might think of you, or say behind your back? Have you ever felt like wearing dark sunglasses, a high collar, and a hat to keep from being noticed in public, or a defendant masking the truth to protect a secret? Are you the quiet type who suffers in silence, who prefers to keep out of sight, avoid the spotlight, shun public forums, and avoid public speaking?

Adoption is a multifaceted topic, with many layers and dimensions that trigger powerful intrinsic emotions in response to cavernous thoughts about unanswered questions and painful events in our lives. Parenting sparks debates based on conflicting viewpoints generated from all sides of the adoption triangle. Governments at all levels react to world crises, military conflicts, and natural catastrophes. Hundreds of individuals, medics, social workers, clergy, philanthropists, and charitable institutions with piecemeal budgets and manpower provide temporary comfort while recognizing national sovereignty, laws, and cultural preferences. And yet, problems encountered by children in need of love continue the same as they always have over the millennia.

Many individuals and organizations are spokespersons and advocates for a wide variety of topics related to adoption. Social media are filled with support groups and task forces formed to address critical issues and provide aid and comfort to those in need. But, what about all those individuals who never participate—those who conceal their secrets and carry their burdens in silence? They intentionally sweep their problems under the rug to keep from being exposed—out of sight, out of mind. Where can they go for help and advice? Would it be helpful for them to share their secrets with you or someone you know? Would you volunteer to hold their hand and allow the curtain to be lowered? Who are the best mentors and sources of information for adoptees and adoptive parents? Who is best able to deal with the sufferings and misfortunes of others and guide them to a better life?

Have you ever encouraged someone to rid themselves of the shackles of secrecy and lift the awful burden of guilt from their shoulders by offering to be a good listener and lend a helping hand? Did they breath an enormous sigh of relief?

Judith Land


Judith Land Website

adozione | adopción | vedtagelse | adoptie | Verabschiedung | örökbefogadás | adopsjon

Angola | Benin | Central African Republic | Chad | Democratic Republic of the Congo | Gabon | Ivory Coast | Mali | Mauritania | Somalia | Sudan | Togo | Tajikistan | Turkmenistan | Uzbekistan

About Judith Land

Judith Land lives in Colorado and Arizona with husband and coauthor Martin Land. Judith is a former nurse, retail shop owner, college instructor and avid outdoor person. Her book "Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child" is a true story detailing the journey of Judith Romano, foster child and adoptee, as she discovers fragments of her background, and then sets out to solve the mystery as an adult. She has reached readers in 192 countries. "Mothers and fathers everywhere in the world need to understand that children are forever and always." --Judith Land
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