How did you feel when you learned you were adopted?

I needed spontaneous love and assurance at that moment because it was disappointing knowing that Rosella was not my mother. I reacted tentatively. I internalized my opinions and feelings, and my body language remained rigid. I was uncomfortable, and I had difficulty expressing myself. I was baffled. Why was I adopted? I was curious if any of my girlfriends were adopted. I was happy knowing that my parents chose me because I was special. 

Still, in hindsight, I wondered if the deepest part of my brain was already conscious of our genetic dissimilarities. Knowing that I was adopted caused me to be more aware of my unique individuality and temperament. My dreams and fantasies became dominated by ghostly images of my birth mother, and the idea of connecting with her became a spiritual goal. 

From a humorous standpoint, I was pleased to know I was adopted and quick to distance myself from my adopted parents whenever they did something embarrassing in public.

Judith Land, Author of Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://www.adoptiondetectivejudithland.com

“This is an extraordinarily riveting story. I was immediately drawn in and could not put the book down. The narrative is structured so that the suspense never lets up as the discovery process unfolds. There are many surprises, redemptive moments, and amazing human complexities revealed throughout. As an adoptive parent, I really valued the author’s honest reflections on her struggles and her serious and thoughtful critique of the institution of adoption.” Anne Bernard Becker

 

Who would benefit from reading Adoption Detective?

1. Everyone enjoys the continuous excitement, mystery, evolving vicissitudes of fortune, and the thrill of a good detective adventure story.
2. Adoption is a social topic as old as a recorded civilization that resonates globally with people of all ages.
3. Over sixty percent of the American population is affected by a personal account of adoption, according to a 1997 Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute survey.
4. Adoptees researching their birth records, DNA, and medical history and investigating ancestral trees may become inspired to learn more, including studying history, geography, and culture.
5. Birth mothers may demonstrate a more profound concern for their children’s mental health and take a more active interest in their future welfare.
6. Adoptive parents will gain insight into the minds of adopted children.
7. The public will become more aware of the psychological trauma of adoption.

Judith Land, Author of Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://www.adoptiondetectivejudithland.com

“This is an extraordinarily riveting story. I was immediately drawn in and could not put the book down. The narrative is structured so that the suspense never lets up as the discovery process unfolds. There are many surprises, redemptive moments, and amazing human complexities revealed throughout. As an adoptive parent, I really valued the author’s honest reflections on her struggles and her serious and thoughtful critique of the institution of adoption.” Anne Bernard Becker

What is unique about your adoption story?

A Dear Mom letter at the beginning of every chapter summarizes Judith Romano’s dreams, feelings, and aspirations. The letters highlight her emotional responses to the significant events in her life as if arising from some external creative impulse. 

The narrative provides clarity and insight into the mind of an adoptee as her thinking evolves from infancy, childhood, and teen years, through a succession of harrowing passages leading into adulthood. Her adventure unfolds as a series of significant events and her deep psychological reactions to them. 

 Throughout her search for the truth, Judith Romano faces a nearly insurmountable challenge in finding her roots. Still, her tenacious approach to problem-solving eventually demonstrates the power of the individual to defeat adversity. To create a positive outcome for herself, she must make tough moral and ethical choices and work within a biased, secretive social system established to work against her. She must overcome her fear of rejection, conquer her inhibitions, inner turmoil, and emotions, and resolve complex legal constraints. Her opinions about the value of self-identity and family connections are educational and inspirational. Readers will gain insight into the mind of an adoptee from infancy, through the developmental years, and into adulthood. 

Judith Romano’s mature awareness and in-depth analysis of the circumstances that shaped the extraordinary quality of her life, will enlighten and inspire others about what it means to be adopted. Readers will learn to understand and appreciate how adoptees feel about adoption both then and now. 

Judith Land, Author of Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://www.adoptiondetectivejudithland.com

“A powerful personal story that belongs in the Pantheon of Adoption Classics. I was deeply moved by the heartbreaking narrative of this adoptee, but at the same time, the mystery buff in me breathlessly turned the pages to find out how or if Judy finally finds her truth. As you read this shocking and amazing book, keep reminding yourself: This really happened.” Donna Montalbano

 

What do you remember most about your childhood?

As a child, I quietly longed for something intangible that I perceived was missing in my life. Everything that had ever happened to me lingered in my imagination. After discovering that I was adopted, I wondered why my mother gave me up for adoption. Wondering where I came from was important to me. Knowing I was adopted was a complex issue that affected my thinking as a child. Separation from my biological roots and foster family encouraged visions of my birth mother inspired by vague memories, mystical dreams, and childhood fantasies.

Over time I gradually acquired the habit of scanning the faces of strangers, searching for others with physical features and emotional feelings similar to mine, hoping to connect with a relative. I became highly observant of other families in my neighborhood and naturally gravitated toward surrogate parents that felt right. I considered similar-looking people to be my imaginary biological family.

Knowing that I was adopted shook my foundation and sense of self, but my optimism and hope that my life would turn out all right in the end never wavered.

Judith Land, Author of Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

https://judithland.wordpress.com

“Judith Land’s adoption reunion story is a roller-coaster of emotional beauty, turmoil, and closure that captured and held my attention. The deep emotional scars that are revealed and explored accurately represent many adoptees’ experiences. Rejection, secrecy, Christian values, and the falsification of crucial life documents are themes explored in this poignant memoir. Adoptees and birth mothers will find themselves on every page of this book and may find refreshing new ideas on how to perceive and embrace their adoption roles. Judy displays her deep-seated understanding of all sides here.” V.L. Brunskill

 

Why write a book about adoption?

There is a high demand for quality stories about adoption because children’s stories resonate with men, women, and individuals of all ages globally. The universal popularity of orphans Heidi, Oliver Twist, Little Orphan Annie, Anne of Green Gables, and others is inspiring and thought-provoking. Adoption stories are interesting because most people know someone who was adopted or directly associated with adoption. 

I told my adoption story around campfires, dinner tables, banquet halls, and lecture rooms because I was passionate about finding my roots and energized by the outcome. My adventure resonates with others because it shows that negative beginnings can have positive results. Twirling around with hands above the head to express happiness like a whirling dervish often communicates better than words. Adoptees who planned investigative journeys of their own were optimistically inspired to continue based on their initiative. 

It is satisfying knowing that my writings have reached readers in 193 countries. Good books are like dinosaur footprints in the rock that last a long time. My story has encouraged birth mothers worldwide to make more informed, compassionate choices about accidental pregnancies and adoption. Adoptive parents are becoming more empathetic as they gain increased insight into the minds of children. Adoptees exercising their independence and freedom are finding happiness and gaining confidence from an expanded understanding of the issues.

Judith Land, Author of Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://www.adoptiondetectivejudithland.com

“Judith Land’s adoption reunion story is a roller-coaster of emotional beauty, turmoil, and closure that captured and held my attention. The deep emotional scars that are revealed and explored accurately represent many adoptees’ experiences. Rejection, secrecy, Christian values, and the falsification of crucial life documents are themes explored in this poignant memoir. Adoptees and birth mothers will find themselves on every page of this book and may find refreshing new ideas on how to perceive and embrace their adoption roles. Judy displays her deep-seated understanding of all sides here.” V.L. Brunskill

 

What is an adoption detective?

Detectives are licensed private investigators who have passed written tests after completing the requirements for being a police officer. An adoption detective is any licensed or unlicensed person who looks into historical records to locate persons of interest.

Adoption detectives help adoptees that suffer the life-long consequences of mother-child separation. The adverse effects of genealogical bewilderment are confusing to them. They believe knowledge of biological heritage is a natural God-given right of every person, optimistically hoping that a positive connection with the past will be therapeutic. By tracing family lineages, they hope to become enlightened about their ancestral and geographical niche and cultural heritage. The ultimate goal for many adoptees is the opportunity to discover information and reunite with their biological parents.

Other clients include:

• Parents looking for reconciliation with their birth children
• Scientists and doctors researching medical histories
• Police detectives investigating crimes
• Historians verifying historical lineages
• Genealogists researching family trees

False birth and baptismal certificates, closed record systems, foreign language barriers and international laws, marriage and nicknames, and death are barriers to successful adoption searches. 

Adoption detectives must remain vigilant to the potential psychological trauma that may result from exposing unwilling or unsuspecting individuals.

Judith Land, Author of Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child

http://www.adoptiondetectivejudithland.com

“This is an extraordinarily riveting story. I was immediately drawn in and could not put the book down. The narrative is structured so that the suspense never lets up as the discovery process unfolds. There are many surprises, redemptive moments, and amazing human complexities revealed throughout. As an adoptive parent, I really valued the author’s honest reflections on her struggles and her serious and thoughtful critique of the institution of adoption.” Anne Bernard Becker

 

 

 

Thanks!

“Readers worldwide may not remember the author’s exact words, but they will never forget how you made them feel. The highest compliment is not for the words you scribble on paper to inspire others, but the satisfaction of knowing that you communicated.” Judith Land 

“To be ecstatically happy, make life an exciting adventure. Dream, explore, and discover. Show enthusiasm for life. Jump for joy whenever the spirit moves you. Demonstrate that what is inside you is more important than what lies behind or in front of you. Release your cares and worries by celebrating small victories. Let everyone know how good you feel. Know that jumping for joy is the most dramatic and exciting way to tell your story—no words are necessary.” Judith Land

Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child is my autobiography. It’s not a self-help book highlighting the keys to adoption success, a personal success story, a list of the top ten things to memorize, or a manual explaining how to win friends and influence people. My goal is simple—allow others to vicariously live their own lives to the fullest potential based on my personal experiences, both good and bad. My story follows the significant events in my life and explains how I felt at various stages of life, both then and now. I interviewed every person involved in my adoption. I used a tape recorder to capture their exact words when talking to parents, family members and relatives, neighbors, priests, foster parents, and social workers.

Exposing my deepest thoughts and intimate feelings to a global audience is challenging. The soul-searching autobiographical process reveals deeply held emotions and sentiments, exposing open wounds and tender feelings.

Knowing that I have connected with readers in 193 countries is personally rewarding yet humbling. Virtue, goodness, righteousness, integrity, emotional intelligence, and moral uprightness are the most excellent complements that anyone can receive. For that, I thank readers worldwide for their compassionate, informed responses. When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed.

Still, when telling your most intimate thoughts to the mountains, don’t be surprised if the wind carries your secrets to the stars.

Judith Martin

“I cried when I read your book, but by the time I got to the end, they were tears of joy. Adoption Detective is a beautifully written memoir of an extraordinary person. I loved the story.” Camille Estrada

“Your book and your blogs have made an incredible difference in my life and others in my family. So many of us were previously uncertain and timid about how to act and think about adoption. You have helped me form my own opinions about family and relationships. I feel more certain. I have more confidence in the future.” Amy Kowalski

“This is the best book on adoption and a compelling must-read story for all adoptees. Thank you for being the reason I smile.” Antonio Pereira, Brazil

“You are a healer. In your book Adoption Detective, the things you say describe exactly how I feel. Whenever I read your writings, I feel better about myself, happier, and more contented in life.” Elizabeth Manning

“You seem to say all the right things that help other adoptees understand reality and keep life and relationships in perspective. You’re an incredible writer. Thank you for brightening my perspectives.” Sue Mercedes

“You lead by example. The challenges you faced were amazing, yet you seem unaffected by the traumatic events in your life. Thanks for sharing your thoughts about adoption. You are a pioneer and hero to other adoptees.” Linda Forrester

“You are a good communicator and writer. I like how you anticipate many of the questions other adoptees would like to ask if we had the chance. Are you a professor?” Barb White

“If you write another book, I will buy it. Let me know.” Lynn Young

“Your book encouraged me to go to France to meet my birth mother. I’m so happy that I did. Everything turned out okay in the end. I met my mother, father, and grandparents. We are like friends now. Merci Beaucoup!” Juliette Bernard

“Our book club enjoyed reading Adoption Detective. You did an excellent job of describing your emotions. We liked the ending and the positive conclusions. Congratulations!” Judy Richardson 

“I would like to quietly sit beside you in the sunshine to absorb your karma because you are a spiritual healer.” Francis Whiting 

“I pray your loving spirit will carry others above the fray of confusion and unnecessary worry. I pray for you and your family—you certainly deserve it.” Ray Booker

“Judith, I read your blogs ALL the time. I thank you. You have real courage, and you have it in bulk. With your talent, you should be on the best-sellers list.” Lara Moore

“I’ve never seen someone ‘nail the emotions adoptees feel so perfectly’ why adoptees feel such a strong pull to know our biological mother and family.” Kristi Cunningham

“Judith—the letters at the beginning of each chapter brought tears. Your story is educational, inspirational, and multigenerational. I was unable to put it down until I finished. Your book has an enduring appeal that is certain to be enjoyed worldwide by people of all ages.” Laurie Larson 

“The depth of emotion evoked by your story is overwhelming. I cried for you and every child separated from their mother.” Joan Teller, Australia

“You are such an amazing, talented, and resilient person. Your story is such a poignant memoir. Because of you, I lost my fear, and finding my roots has been the best thing that ever happened to me.” Johnnie Esposito, Italy

“You give me hope for a better tomorrow. It’s nice to be validated.” Ellen Amado, Mexico

“Adoption Detective is an extraordinarily riveting story that immediately draws in the reader. The suspense never lets up. I value your honest reflections on your struggles and your serious and thoughtful critique of the institution of adoption.” Emma Miller

“You’re my favorite writer! I enjoy your story so much because I can relate. Your writings so move me, and I know others are too. I thank you for sharing your unique perspectives and inspiring thoughts.” Betty Livingston

Your story is beautiful and heart-wrenching. Your writings give me goosebumps as a poignant reminder of the significant moments in life, how we feel, and the passage of time. You inspire me to have the confidence to be my person, think for myself, and the strength to be a more independent, outgoing person like you. Thanks. Ava Comstock 

“Your quotes about adoption are always meaningful and incredibly insightful. You are a wealth of knowledge and information—keep sharing because I love your blogs.” Mary Decker

“A powerful personal story that belongs in the Pantheon of Adoption Classics. I was deeply moved by the heartbreaking narrative of this adoptee, but at the same time, the mystery buff in me breathlessly turned the pages to find out how or if Judy finally finds her truth. As you read this shocking and amazing book, keep reminding yourself: This really happened.” Donna Montalbano 

Caddywampus: Murder at Woebegone Dunes Resort

More than a thriller, a gripping high stakes human drama from storytellers, Judy & Erik Martin

caddywampusmystery.com 

Editorial Reviews

 
★★★★★ STARS 
 
“Caddywampus is a wildly entertaining and thought-provoking story of mystery and mayhem that is highly captivating. The cast of characters is deep and rich, sexy, and amusing. The story premise and characters, setting, and sequence of events are expository, descriptive, and persuasive. The plot has many twists and turns making it difficult to put the book down. Caddywampus is a well-written murder mystery with an enjoyable writing style and intriguing points of view that will undoubtedly endure.” —Avid Reader, London, UK.

★★★★★ STARS 
 
“Caddywampus is a mystery spell-binder and cauldron of instability that will keep you awake. It takes an insidious imagination to spin out a mind-blowing adventure with a hair-raising beginning and a heart-stopping end. Victims die in truly awful, messy, accidental ways as they hurtle into oblivion and the gut-wrenching science behind them. Protagonist Lieutenant Baron Dunning faces fiendish situations involving murder, mayhem, religion, and international money laundering. Unique individuals compete for ownership of Woebegone Dunes Resort and a religious hermitage at Gravestone Castle in northeast Wisconsin. The cast of characters is dynamic, intelligent, sexy, and thoroughly entertaining.” —James Johnson, Bibliophile Book Worm. 

★★★★★ STARS 
 
“This is an extraordinarily riveting story that captivates and holds your attention. It is a creatively written detective mystery novel, and the suspense never lets up. I breathlessly turned the pages as the discovery process unfolded. Lieutenant Baron Dunning is bold and intelligent, but everything about the investigation is caddywampus—in disarray like a lopsided bicycle wheel. Deputy Sheriff Bud Light speaks as if he is chewing a wad of sticky toffee with loose dentures. Lady Vanessa is a seductive woman that would cause a bishop to spill his red wine and kick a hole in a stained-glass window. Antagonist Bo-Bo Bigelow is the world’s largest exporter of stolen oil and rare earth minerals. Father Feely is a corrupt priest. Exposure of the Royal Enouement Society will greatly inspire patent holders and budding entrepreneurs.” —Fraser Johnson, President of Psalm Entertainment 

★★★★★ STARS 

“The story begins with an electrifying, breath-taking, fast-moving opening, exposing sharp and clever integration of contemporary geopolitical situations. The action is electric, the descriptions are detailed, and the pace is unabated. The settings are inspirational, and the character descriptions are deep. Caddywampus is a non-stop thriller with wry smiles unexpectedly popping up—Dr. Whet Faartz? Seriously? The adventure makes the coastal edge of northeastern Wisconsin a dramatic must-see landscape destination. This mystery novel is the first book I’ve read cover to cover in the last five years.” —Ed Flaherty, Switzerland

From the Author

“Nothing contributes more to the amusement of the reader than the tempo of significant life events and the evolving vicissitudes of fortune, unpredictable circumstances that create the emotional ups and downs that we face every day.” Erik Martin

“Destiny is not always preordained. Life is about making choices. Our lives are the sum of all our choices, the bridges we cross, and the ones we burn. Our souls cast long shadows over many people, even after we are gone. Fate, luck, and providence are consequences of our freedom of choice, not the determinants. When justice is served by following our principles, making good decisions brings us inner peace.”

The Homing Instinct

“The homing instinct for a child separated from its biological mother is like a steady and reliable compass needle that always points north.” Judith Land

“Adoptive parents who have abundant love for the orphaned children they meet in their dreams that they demonstrate unwavering support for, believe in, and show thanks and pride under the umbrella of unconditional love are virtuous.” Judith Land

Maternal separation and a deep sense of loss are adoption’s core issues. Every adopted child experiences a loss of some kind—whether grieving from the separation from their birth family or losing control of what a child experiences in their early life. Understanding this loss and the resulting grief it causes can help adoptive parents be more sympathetic and kind.

Many adoptees experience hurtful feelings of isolation and separation, even in a crowd—a mournful sense of loss and spiritual longing for something intangible that is missing drives them. The absence of a comfortable, happy, loving relationship with the mother produces feelings of profound sadness, sleep-disturbed longing, and bewilderment.

To remedy the situation:

1. Find happiness by being positive and supportive of others.
2. Aggressively solve communication challenges, and don’t be afraid to express bothersome feelings to adoptive parents.
3. Read a good book.
4. Cultivate a relationship with a kind, elderly neighbor that is intelligent and understanding.
5. Develop friendships and positive relationships with the potential to be extraordinary that will fulfill you abundantly.

Striving to be a good mother, a good wife, a good sister, and a good listener is often the best way to find solace and comfort, peace, and relief from the emotional pangs of separation. Thankfully, with adulthood comes a greater sense of forgiveness, understanding, reassurance, and ease from the distress and sadness resulting from early separation and adoption.

Judith Land

“A powerful personal story that belongs in the Pantheon of Adoption Classics. I was deeply moved by the heartbreaking narrative of this adoptee, but at the same time, the mystery buff in me breathlessly turned the pages to find out how or if Judy finally finds her truth. As you read this shocking and amazing book, keep reminding yourself: This really happened.” Donna Montalbano 

Wire Monkey Mothers

“Poets, song-writers, and novelists responding to simple observations, sentiments, feelings, and emotions seem better able to describe the importance of maternal love than scientists, lawyers, and the cold-hearted money changers responsible for the fair and equitable distribution of adopted children.” Judith Land 

“The homing instinct for a child separated from its biological mother is like a compass needle that always points north.” Judith Land

To scientifically investigate the nature of human love and affection, Harry Harlow was one of the first psychologists to demonstrate the importance of early mother and child attachments and emotional bonds on healthy development. Attachment develops due to the mother providing tactile comfort, suggesting that infants have an innate biological need to touch and cling to their mother for emotional comfort and familiarity. 

In the mother’s absence, infants turn to inanimate surrogate mothers for comfort when faced with new and scary situations. Studies concluded that touch and maternal contact are more important than food for healthy psychological development. Infants separated from their biological mother automatically seek comfort in the arms of soft fluffy surrogate mothers, even if the surrogate mother never provides food, proving that infants feel an attachment toward their caregiver, a tactile extension referred to as “love.”

Mother-infant attachment does not depend on the mother providing nourishment as much as it does on providing the comfort of body contact. Infants preferred wire mothers covered with soft materials designed for clinging. Wire effigies of a mother that coldly provided nutrition with a nipple and bottle do not satisfy the innate feeling of love necessary for healthy development. The findings prove the value of mother and child bonding during infancy. Children do not live by milk alone, and social isolation for the first six months of life produces severe deficits in virtually every aspect of social behavior. The innate value of warm hugs and spontaneous snuggles is overwhelmingly positive for the healthy psychological development of adopted children. 

Judith Land