What do you remember most about your childhood?

As a child, I quietly longed for something intangible that I perceived was missing in my life. Everything that had ever happened to me lingered in my imagination. After discovering that I was adopted, I wondered why my mother gave me up for adoption. Wondering where I came from was important to me. Knowing I was adopted was a complex issue that affected my thinking as a child. Separation from my biological roots and foster family encouraged visions of my birth mother inspired by vague memories, mystical dreams, and childhood fantasies.

Over time I gradually acquired the habit of scanning the faces of strangers, searching for others with physical features and emotional feelings similar to mine, hoping to connect with a relative. I became highly observant of other families in my neighborhood and naturally gravitated toward surrogate parents that felt right. I considered similar-looking people to be my imaginary biological family.

Knowing that I was adopted shook my foundation and sense of self, but my optimism and hope that my life would turn out all right in the end never wavered.

Judith Land, Author of Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

https://judithland.wordpress.com

“Judith Land’s adoption reunion story is a roller-coaster of emotional beauty, turmoil, and closure that captured and held my attention. The deep emotional scars that are revealed and explored accurately represent many adoptees’ experiences. Rejection, secrecy, Christian values, and the falsification of crucial life documents are themes explored in this poignant memoir. Adoptees and birth mothers will find themselves on every page of this book and may find refreshing new ideas on how to perceive and embrace their adoption roles. Judy displays her deep-seated understanding of all sides here.” V.L. Brunskill

 

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Why write a book about adoption?

There is a high demand for quality stories about adoption because children’s stories resonate with men, women, and individuals of all ages globally. The universal popularity of orphans Heidi, Oliver Twist, Little Orphan Annie, Anne of Green Gables, and others is inspiring and thought-provoking. Adoption stories are interesting because most people know someone who was adopted or directly associated with adoption. 

I told my adoption story around campfires, dinner tables, banquet halls, and lecture rooms because I was passionate about finding my roots and energized by the outcome. My adventure resonates with others because it shows that negative beginnings can have positive results. Twirling around with hands above the head to express happiness like a whirling dervish often communicates better than words. Adoptees who planned investigative journeys of their own were optimistically inspired to continue based on their initiative. 

It is satisfying knowing that my writings have reached readers in 193 countries. Good books are like dinosaur footprints in the rock that last a long time. My story has encouraged birth mothers worldwide to make more informed, compassionate choices about accidental pregnancies and adoption. Adoptive parents are becoming more empathetic as they gain increased insight into the minds of children. Adoptees exercising their independence and freedom are finding happiness and gaining confidence from an expanded understanding of the issues.

Judith Land, Author of Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://www.adoptiondetectivejudithland.com

“Judith Land’s adoption reunion story is a roller-coaster of emotional beauty, turmoil, and closure that captured and held my attention. The deep emotional scars that are revealed and explored accurately represent many adoptees’ experiences. Rejection, secrecy, Christian values, and the falsification of crucial life documents are themes explored in this poignant memoir. Adoptees and birth mothers will find themselves on every page of this book and may find refreshing new ideas on how to perceive and embrace their adoption roles. Judy displays her deep-seated understanding of all sides here.” V.L. Brunskill

 

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What is an adoption detective?

Detectives are licensed private investigators who have passed written tests after completing the requirements for being a police officer. An adoption detective is any licensed or unlicensed person who looks into historical records to locate persons of interest.

Adoption detectives help adoptees that suffer the life-long consequences of mother-child separation. The adverse effects of genealogical bewilderment are confusing to them. They believe knowledge of biological heritage is a natural God-given right of every person, optimistically hoping that a positive connection with the past will be therapeutic. By tracing family lineages, they hope to become enlightened about their ancestral and geographical niche and cultural heritage. The ultimate goal for many adoptees is the opportunity to discover information and reunite with their biological parents.

Other clients include:

  • Parents looking for reconciliation with their birth children
  • Scientists and doctors researching medical histories
  • Police detectives investigating crimes
  • Historians verifying historical lineages
  • Genealogists researching family trees

False birth and baptismal certificates, closed record systems, foreign language barriers and international laws, marriage and nicknames, and death are barriers to successful adoption searches. 

Adoption detectives must remain vigilant to the potential psychological trauma that may result from exposing unwilling or unsuspecting individuals.

Judith Land, Author of Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child

http://www.adoptiondetectivejudithland.com

“This is an extraordinarily riveting story. I was immediately drawn in and could not put the book down. The narrative is structured so that the suspense never lets up as the discovery process unfolds. There are many surprises, redemptive moments, and amazing human complexities revealed throughout. As an adoptive parent, I really valued the author’s honest reflections on her struggles and her serious and thoughtful critique of the institution of adoption.” Anne Bernard Becker

 

 

 

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Thanks!

“Readers worldwide may not remember the author’s exact words, but they will never forget how you made them feel. The highest compliment is not for the words you scribble on paper to inspire others, but the satisfaction of knowing that you communicated.” Judith Land 

“To be ecstatically happy, make life an exciting adventure. Dream, explore, and discover. Show enthusiasm for life. Jump for joy whenever the spirit moves you. Demonstrate that what is inside you is more important than what lies behind or in front of you. Release your cares and worries by celebrating small victories. Let everyone know how good you feel. Know that jumping for joy is the most dramatic and exciting way to tell your story—no words are necessary.” Judith Land

Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child is my autobiography. It’s not a self-help book highlighting the keys to adoption success, a personal success story, a list of the top ten things to memorize, or a manual explaining how to win friends and influence people. My goal is simple—allow others to vicariously live their own lives to the fullest potential based on my personal experiences, both good and bad. My story follows the significant events in my life and explains how I felt at various stages of life, both then and now. I interviewed every person involved in my adoption. I used a tape recorder to capture their exact words when talking to parents, family members and relatives, neighbors, priests, foster parents, and social workers.

Exposing my deepest thoughts and intimate feelings to a global audience is challenging. The soul-searching autobiographical process reveals deeply held emotions and sentiments, exposing open wounds and tender feelings.

Knowing that I have connected with readers in 193 countries is personally rewarding yet humbling. Virtue, goodness, righteousness, integrity, emotional intelligence, and moral uprightness are the most excellent complements that anyone can receive. For that, I thank readers worldwide for their compassionate, informed responses. When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed.

Still, when telling your most intimate thoughts to the mountains, don’t be surprised if the wind carries your secrets to the stars.

Judith Martin

“I cried when I read your book, but by the time I got to the end, they were tears of joy. Adoption Detective is a beautifully written memoir of an extraordinary person. I loved the story.” Camille Estrada

“Your book and your blogs have made an incredible difference in my life and others in my family. So many of us were previously uncertain and timid about how to act and think about adoption. You have helped me form my own opinions about family and relationships. I feel more certain. I have more confidence in the future.” Amy Kowalski

“This is the best book on adoption and a compelling must-read story for all adoptees. Thank you for being the reason I smile.” Antonio Pereira, Brazil

“You are a healer. In your book Adoption Detective, the things you say describe exactly how I feel. Whenever I read your writings, I feel better about myself, happier, and more contented in life.” Elizabeth Manning

“You seem to say all the right things that help other adoptees understand reality and keep life and relationships in perspective. You’re an incredible writer. Thank you for brightening my perspectives.” Sue Mercedes

“You lead by example. The challenges you faced were amazing, yet you seem unaffected by the traumatic events in your life. Thanks for sharing your thoughts about adoption. You are a pioneer and hero to other adoptees.” Linda Forrester

“You are a good communicator and writer. I like how you anticipate many of the questions other adoptees would like to ask if we had the chance. Are you a professor?” Barb White

“If you write another book, I will buy it. Let me know.” Lynn Young

“Your book encouraged me to go to France to meet my birth mother. I’m so happy that I did. Everything turned out okay in the end. I met my mother, father, and grandparents. We are like friends now. Merci Beaucoup!” Juliette Bernard

“Our book club enjoyed reading Adoption Detective. You did an excellent job of describing your emotions. We liked the ending and the positive conclusions. Congratulations!” Judy Richardson 

“I would like to quietly sit beside you in the sunshine to absorb your karma because you are a spiritual healer.” Francis Whiting 

“I pray your loving spirit will carry others above the fray of confusion and unnecessary worry. I pray for you and your family—you certainly deserve it.” Ray Booker

“Judith, I read your blogs ALL the time. I thank you. You have real courage, and you have it in bulk. With your talent, you should be on the best-sellers list.” Lara Moore

“I’ve never seen someone ‘nail the emotions adoptees feel so perfectly’ why adoptees feel such a strong pull to know our biological mother and family.” Kristi Cunningham

“Judith—the letters at the beginning of each chapter brought tears. Your story is educational, inspirational, and multigenerational. I was unable to put it down until I finished. Your book has an enduring appeal that is certain to be enjoyed worldwide by people of all ages.” Laurie Larson 

“The depth of emotion evoked by your story is overwhelming. I cried for you and every child separated from their mother.” Joan Teller, Australia

“You are such an amazing, talented, and resilient person. Your story is such a poignant memoir. Because of you, I lost my fear, and finding my roots has been the best thing that ever happened to me.” Johnnie Esposito, Italy

“You give me hope for a better tomorrow. It’s nice to be validated.” Ellen Amado, Mexico

“Adoption Detective is an extraordinarily riveting story that immediately draws in the reader. The suspense never lets up. I value your honest reflections on your struggles and your serious and thoughtful critique of the institution of adoption.” Emma Miller

“You’re my favorite writer! I enjoy your story so much because I can relate. Your writings so move me, and I know others are too. I thank you for sharing your unique perspectives and inspiring thoughts.” Betty Livingston

Your story is beautiful and heart-wrenching. Your writings give me goosebumps as a poignant reminder of the significant moments in life, how we feel, and the passage of time. You inspire me to have the confidence to be my person, think for myself, and the strength to be a more independent, outgoing person like you. Thanks. Ava Comstock 

“Your quotes about adoption are always meaningful and incredibly insightful. You are a wealth of knowledge and information—keep sharing because I love your blogs.” Mary Decker

“A powerful personal story that belongs in the Pantheon of Adoption Classics. I was deeply moved by the heartbreaking narrative of this adoptee, but at the same time, the mystery buff in me breathlessly turned the pages to find out how or if Judy finally finds her truth. As you read this shocking and amazing book, keep reminding yourself: This really happened.” Donna Montalbano 

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Caddywampus: Murder at Woebegone Dunes Resort

More than a thriller, a gripping high stakes human drama from storytellers, Judy & Erik Martin

caddywampusmystery.com 

Editorial Reviews

 
★★★★★ STARS 
 
“Caddywampus is a wildly entertaining and thought-provoking story of mystery and mayhem that is highly captivating. The cast of characters is deep and rich, sexy, and amusing. The story premise and characters, setting, and sequence of events are expository, descriptive, and persuasive. The plot has many twists and turns making it difficult to put the book down. Caddywampus is a well-written murder mystery with an enjoyable writing style and intriguing points of view that will undoubtedly endure.” —Avid Reader, London, UK.

★★★★★ STARS 
 
“Caddywampus is a mystery spell-binder and cauldron of instability that will keep you awake. It takes an insidious imagination to spin out a mind-blowing adventure with a hair-raising beginning and a heart-stopping end. Victims die in truly awful, messy, accidental ways as they hurtle into oblivion and the gut-wrenching science behind them. Protagonist Lieutenant Baron Dunning faces fiendish situations involving murder, mayhem, religion, and international money laundering. Unique individuals compete for ownership of Woebegone Dunes Resort and a religious hermitage at Gravestone Castle in northeast Wisconsin. The cast of characters is dynamic, intelligent, sexy, and thoroughly entertaining.” —James Johnson, Bibliophile Book Worm. 

★★★★★ STARS 
 
“This is an extraordinarily riveting story that captivates and holds your attention. It is a creatively written detective mystery novel, and the suspense never lets up. I breathlessly turned the pages as the discovery process unfolded. Lieutenant Baron Dunning is bold and intelligent, but everything about the investigation is caddywampus—in disarray like a lopsided bicycle wheel. Deputy Sheriff Bud Light speaks as if he is chewing a wad of sticky toffee with loose dentures. Lady Vanessa is a seductive woman that would cause a bishop to spill his red wine and kick a hole in a stained-glass window. Antagonist Bo-Bo Bigelow is the world’s largest exporter of stolen oil and rare earth minerals. Father Feely is a corrupt priest. Exposure of the Royal Enouement Society will greatly inspire patent holders and budding entrepreneurs.” —Fraser Johnson, President of Psalm Entertainment 

★★★★★ STARS 

“The story begins with an electrifying, breath-taking, fast-moving opening, exposing sharp and clever integration of contemporary geopolitical situations. The action is electric, the descriptions are detailed, and the pace is unabated. The settings are inspirational, and the character descriptions are deep. Caddywampus is a non-stop thriller with wry smiles unexpectedly popping up—Dr. Whet Faartz? Seriously? The adventure makes the coastal edge of northeastern Wisconsin a dramatic must-see landscape destination. This mystery novel is the first book I’ve read cover to cover in the last five years.” —Ed Flaherty, Switzerland

From the Author

“Nothing contributes more to the amusement of the reader than the tempo of significant life events and the evolving vicissitudes of fortune, unpredictable circumstances that create the emotional ups and downs that we face every day.” Erik Martin

“Destiny is not always preordained. Life is about making choices. Our lives are the sum of all our choices, the bridges we cross, and the ones we burn. Our souls cast long shadows over many people, even after we are gone. Fate, luck, and providence are consequences of our freedom of choice, not the determinants. When justice is served by following our principles, making good decisions brings us inner peace.”
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The Homing Instinct

“The homing instinct for a child separated from its biological mother is like a steady and reliable compass needle that always points north.” Judith Land

“Adoptive parents who have abundant love for the orphaned children they meet in their dreams that they demonstrate unwavering support for, believe in, and show thanks and pride under the umbrella of unconditional love are virtuous.” Judith Land

Maternal separation and a deep sense of loss are adoption’s core issues. Every adopted child experiences a loss of some kind—whether grieving from the separation from their birth family or losing control of what a child experiences in their early life. Understanding this loss and the resulting grief it causes can help adoptive parents be more sympathetic and kind.

Many adoptees experience hurtful feelings of isolation and separation, even in a crowd—a mournful sense of loss and spiritual longing for something intangible that is missing drives them. The absence of a comfortable, happy, loving relationship with the mother produces feelings of profound sadness, sleep-disturbed longing, and bewilderment.

To remedy the situation:

  1. Find happiness by being positive and supportive of others.
  2. Aggressively solve communication challenges, and don’t be afraid to express bothersome feelings to adoptive parents.
  3. Read a good book.
  4. Cultivate a relationship with a kind, elderly neighbor that is intelligent and understanding.
  5. Develop friendships and positive relationships with the potential to be extraordinary that will fulfill you abundantly.

Striving to be a good mother, a good wife, a good sister, and a good listener is often the best way to find solace and comfort, peace, and relief from the emotional pangs of separation. Thankfully, with adulthood comes a greater sense of forgiveness, understanding, reassurance, and ease from the distress and sadness resulting from early separation and adoption.

Judith Land

“A powerful personal story that belongs in the Pantheon of Adoption Classics. I was deeply moved by the heartbreaking narrative of this adoptee, but at the same time, the mystery buff in me breathlessly turned the pages to find out how or if Judy finally finds her truth. As you read this shocking and amazing book, keep reminding yourself: This really happened.” Donna Montalbano 
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Wire Monkey Mothers

“Poets, song-writers, and novelists responding to simple observations, sentiments, feelings, and emotions seem better able to describe the importance of maternal love than scientists, lawyers, and the cold-hearted money changers responsible for the fair and equitable distribution of adopted children.” Judith Land 

“The homing instinct for a child separated from its biological mother is like a compass needle that always points north.” Judith Land

To scientifically investigate the nature of human love and affection, Harry Harlow was one of the first psychologists to demonstrate the importance of early mother and child attachments and emotional bonds on healthy development. Attachment develops due to the mother providing tactile comfort, suggesting that infants have an innate biological need to touch and cling to their mother for emotional comfort and familiarity. 

In the mother’s absence, infants turn to inanimate surrogate mothers for comfort when faced with new and scary situations. Studies concluded that touch and maternal contact are more important than food for healthy psychological development. Infants separated from their biological mother automatically seek comfort in the arms of soft fluffy surrogate mothers, even if the surrogate mother never provides food, proving that infants feel an attachment toward their caregiver, a tactile extension referred to as “love.”

Mother-infant attachment does not depend on the mother providing nourishment as much as it does on providing the comfort of body contact. Infants preferred wire mothers covered with soft materials designed for clinging. Wire effigies of a mother that coldly provided nutrition with a nipple and bottle do not satisfy the innate feeling of love necessary for healthy development. The findings prove the value of mother and child bonding during infancy. Children do not live by milk alone, and social isolation for the first six months of life produces severe deficits in virtually every aspect of social behavior. The innate value of warm hugs and spontaneous snuggles is overwhelmingly positive for the healthy psychological development of adopted children. 

Judith Land

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BOOK CLUB REVIEW

Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child

Adoption Detective is a multi-genre thriller that resonates with men and women and people of all ages in every culture. Emotional tension is intense and never-ending throughout. Judith Ramano is a sympathetic heroine that is strong, authentic, and irresistible that believes in the wisdom of the heart and the power of sympathy. She is genuine, and she lives a meaningful life. She tugs at our heartstrings, leaving us feeling offended, shocked, and sympathetic as our sensibilities increase in response to complex emotional and psychological influences. This unforgettable life story has elements of a who-done-it mystery novel and a non-fiction biography. It is a romance novel with a central love story focused on family with an emotionally satisfying and optimistic ending.

“Destiny is not preordained. It is about making choices. Our lives are the sum of all the choices we make, the bridges we cross, and the ones we burn. Our souls cast long shadows over many people, even after we are gone. Fate, luck, and providence are the consequence of our freedom of choice, not the determinants. When justice is served by following our principles, making good decisions brings us inner peace. Happiness is a mental state of well-being characterized by positive emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. At this point in my life, I have much to be thankful for and many reasons to celebrate.” Judith Land

Her story is powerfully irresistible and overwhelming to a diverse global audience. There is a universal demand for romantic stories from the heart combined with mysteries treasured by teenagers who enjoy complex page-turners. Adoption Detective stimulates moral sensitivities that increase the reader’s ability to solve ethical conflicts that inspire conviction. The plot follows actual events—a highly compelling adventure story with a happy-ever-after ending.

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Why are “Abandoned Children” called Orphans?

“There are not enough words to describe the devastating heartfelt sense of loss a child feels due to parental separation. Quietude is a state of stillness, calmness, and freedom from disturbance and interruption by others—sometimes silence is the best way to display empathy and better understand a child’s perspective.” Judith Land

 “Adoption is a journey of faith, love, and mercy that changes a child’s life forever. Orphaned children aren’t paint-by-number kits where you get to fill in your favorite colors. They are not exotic creatures to be placed on display or exhibited in any way. Allowing them to imitate chimpanzees having fun in a zoo isn’t the best way to learn social skills. Too often, we teach them to walk and talk and for the rest of their lives to be silent and sit down.” Judith Land 

Usually, we think of sad little children without parents due to war, pestilence, accidents, and natural disasters when we think of orphans. The term orphan has broadened in modern usage to include children willfully “abandoned” by living parents. They consciously choose to be permanently and legally separated from their child, regardless of the potential cruel mental and behavioral consequences, collateral effects, and repercussions to others and society their actions may cause. 

Historically, the conditions in many orphanages were horrific. That is why they have largely been phased out in North America and Europe but continue to operate in other regions internationally. In some countries, owning and running an orphanage is profitable, with foreign donations serving as revenue. Many are unlicensed, with very little government oversight, leaving babies and children subject to abuse, organ harvesting, and illegal adoptions. Children with disabilities, including learning disabilities, are twice as likely to have difficulty. Asia holds the most significant number of orphaned children, at 71 million. India is home to 31 million orphans, while Africa harbors 59 million. More than 25,000 children became orphaned in Indonesia due to Covid-19. Native American tribes have very few orphans compared to other cultures. Children without parents are raised by a grandmother or sent to live with close family members.

Children deprived of the protections and benefits parents provide are left with extreme disadvantages. Losing a mother can be emotionally overwhelming. Separation leaves children feeling perpetually insecure and doubtful in themselves, in relationships, and the world. Still, psychologists agree that an institutional home for orphans is no substitute for a house with loving parents, even if the child is adopted.  

Learning how to survive the brutal world and carving an identity are challenging tasks. Modern adoption and foster practices and child welfare programs have replaced orphanages in most cases. Orphaned children age out of the social welfare network between age 18-21 when they suddenly find themselves on their own, responsible for managing their own money and finding a suitable place to live. Transitioning into the real world is particularly difficult for those with physical handicaps and learning disabilities. Regrettably, many of these vulnerable young teenagers face life alone.  

Judith Land

http://www.adoptiondetectivejudithland.com

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Children are Reminders from God that Life Goes On

“The birth of every wispy-haired, chubby-faced, ragamuffin kid is a reminder from God that life goes on. When they take their first breath, it takes yours away. Cherish your babies like a Fabergé egg. Take care to avoid accidentally banging their heads on the coffee table. You are the ultimate role model. If you bungle raising your children, whatever else you do matters less. Your children may not listen to what you say, but they are always watching you. Try to leave them a legacy of character and faith that will be valued and treasured till kingdom come.” Judith Land

“Children are like butterflies that whimsically flit around from flower to flower depending on how the wind is blowing. Give them freedom, love, and confidence. Don’t make them grow up too soon.” Judith Land

Raising kids is like walking a little drunk person through Jurassic Park, bumping into things, urinating and vomiting, willingly sharing infectious diseases, and the mother’s age with strangers. Teething babies are like pots of boiling vomit on a hot stove, ready to boil over at any time unexpectedly. Living with them is like a fraternity house, and you got paired up with the worst roommate. Everything broke, everyone was awake, and there was a lot of throwing up. At least you can blame your farts on them.  

They enter your home and for the next 18 years make so much noise you can’t stand it. They use sleep deprivation methods to try to break you running around like rodeo clowns. The most popular dinner party conversations are about poop, not politics. If you could look inside their head, you would discover a giant drool gland. If your kids haven’t seen it on television, they probably won’t like it. Living with children is like being in the kitchen when someone forgets the top to the blender. Boys leave little streaks of dirt, slime stains, marbles, skid marks, and little cars with missing wheels. Girls are just as messy as boys, leaving piles of glitter and confetti, doll clothes, and pick-up sticks. Cleaning the house when they are home is like shoveling the sidewalk during a snow storm. Small children disturb your sleep, and teens make you worry about life. If you don’t like your neighbors, buy their kids a drum. If things are suddenly quiet, they probably left for college. 

You begin to feel like a drug addict when you don’t mind getting crapped on, and big smiles turn into hysterics. Instead of blushing, you invent creative new words for drippy noses, booboos, and body fluids. Try to remember that your youngest child isn’t mad at you; they just haven’t learned to speak yet. When their eyes unexpectedly pop open when you are watching them sleep doesn’t mean you’re supposed to drop to the floor and roll out of the room like a ninja warrior. Watch the chimpanzees in the zoo if you want them to learn how to have fun together. We teach them to walk and talk and then be silent and sit down for the rest of their lives. 

The moral of most children’s stories is a vasectomy. If your baby is perfect, you’re probably the grandparent, not the parent. The first 30 years of raising children are the easiest. Children help you reach old age quicker. Suppose you find yourself continuing the habit of taking naps when the baby has left to make a family of its own. In that case, you’re probably just getting old. 

Judith Land

http://www.adoptiondetectivejudithland.com

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