Adoption Detective—Judith Land Quotes

Adoption Detective | Judith Land Quotes

“There seems to be a call, a natural urge, in all humans to comprehend and fulfill past traditions of family, nation, culture and religion and a belief that knowledge of ancestry and genealogy is an inalienable and entitled right of every person. Our forebears survived over the millennia by chance, luck, skill and natural selection. We are the progenies of individuals who survived natural disasters, diseases, plagues, famines and wars; persons who were blessed by fate who made the right choices at the right times. They were smarter, faster, more brutal, cunning, luckier, virile or simply survived because they avoided detection and confrontation. Genealogical records provide information about the appearance and physical stature of individuals, locations where they were born and died and their occupations—but for adoptees, it is most often through our dreams, clairvoyance and perceptions of a higher consciousness that we learn to build up our self-image and get to know and understand ourselves.” Judith Land


Choices – Our lives are the sum of all the choices we make, the bridges we cross, and the ones we burn. Our souls cast long shadows over many people, even after we are gone.

Orphans – Each personal story of adoption is unique, but the theme is universal. Children are separated from their parents due to war, pestilence, accidents, and natural disasters, but most often, they are willfully abandoned due to inconvenience.

Separation – Separation from the birth mother is the confiscation of the child’s soul, a mutual occurrence that rips apart and exposes the heart of the child.

Primal Wound – Orphans amputated from their mother’s breast hide their wounds in the darkest subconscious corners of their primal brains, where they remain hidden, but never healed.

Sense of Loss – Mother and daughter equally suffer from the same cerebral wounds, numbness, and sentiments of penitence. Enduring these injuries and suffering in silence is what they habitually have in common.

Spirituality – Ultimately, the crushing emotional pain of rejection is so formidable that it can only be shared with God.

Adoption – Adoption is a familiar theme among all people that encourages group reminiscing about romantic fairy tales, fables, mysteries, historic legends, shaggy-dog stories, and tragic folk tales.

Mystery – The heroine of Adoption Detective is hardly a traditional detective, but genealogy by its very nature, leads her to detection, deduction, and conclusions that are not always what she had in mind.

Childhood – Everything that ever happened to Judith Romano lingered in her imagination. Separation from her biological roots encouraged visions of her birth mother inspired by obscure memories, mystical dreams, and childhood fantasies.

Dreams – Tormented with dreams of tornados, hurricanes, mudslides, flying insects, and floods, I slept in a cold sweat. I had a vision of my biological mother. Her back was turned. I wanted to call out her name to let her know that I was her lost child, but my voice was silent because I was insecure and afraid that she might not like me. Passively waiting for her to turn around and recognize me, the vision evaporated into a spiritual mist, leaving me cold and alone.

Searching – The process of conducting an adoption search requires resilience to conquer adversity, perseverance to overcome injustice, and persistence to achieve your goal.

Faith – And when I was in my lowest emotional states of mind and there was no one there to help me overcome distress or discouragement, I found it therapeutic to direct my accepted wisdom to God.

Reconciliation – Reconciliation allows me to feel spiritually healed from the austere primal wound caused by the unnatural separation from you after I was born. Your willingness to unconditionally accept me as your daughter generates delightful feelings of distinction and worthiness.

Happiness – Blue skies, rugged snowy mountains, and sunshine on my shoulders (John Denver) give me euphoric feelings of happiness. I love warm summers and campfires, and find the gold-quaking aspen trees in the Maroon Bells Wilderness irresistible. I become excited whenever the snows are deep and the skiing challenging in Vail and Aspen.

Epilogue – Ancestral recovery was a peak experience, an extraordinary moment that took my breath away, liberated my spirit, and gave me the confidence to soar like an eagle.

Judith Land, Adoptee
Youtube Video: “Adoption Detective – Judith Land Quotes”



About Judith Land

Judith Land lives in Colorado and Arizona with husband and coauthor Martin Land. Judith is a former nurse, retail shop owner, college instructor and avid outdoor person. Her book "Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child" is a true story detailing the journey of Judith Romano, foster child and adoptee, as she discovers fragments of her background, and then sets out to solve the mystery as an adult. She has reached readers in 192 countries. "Mothers and fathers everywhere in the world need to understand that children are forever and always." --Judith Land
This entry was posted in Adoption, Books, Parenting, Relationships and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Adoption Detective—Judith Land Quotes

  1. michelemel says:

    Judith, your epilogue expressed my feelings upon “find”. I told many adoptee friends, my husband… anyone who would listen that, ‘The day I saw my birth listed in the index, and saw my birth mother’s name, and the previously unknown name I was given at birth, I felt like I FINALLY (at age 46) knew who I was’! This, before I even knew any more of my family of origin’s story! Now, almost 10 years later, and two 1/2 sisters found, I finally feel the freedom to just BE who I AM, no apologies necessary (although like other adoptees, I can still be dealt the guilt-inducing comments questioning my loyalty to my ap’s, God bless my Mom…and Dad ). I have the history that proves my ancestry. I have life stories- some less extensive than I’d like; regardless, I DO have people in the world that I am genetically related. I DO have medical history, which has been mirrored in my own. I DO have sisters I never have had in my life. I feel blessed as I enter my later years, as I finally feel that when I die, someone will care (beyond my husband…I have no children), and my history on the planet will be known, my soul missed by those I found, my family of origin.

    • Judith Land says:

      “I felt like I FINALLY knew who I was.” Thanks Michele. I’m happy for you.

      My emotional drive to find my biological parents was the fulfillment of a childhood dream. My youth had been quietly spent wondering and longing for something intangible that I had perceived was missing in my life. When I began searching for my birth parents, I had no idea the journey would evolve into such a grand and glorious voyage of the heart and mind and soul affecting the lives of so many individuals. Researching the topic of adoption inspired me to read many books about human psychology and mother-daughter bonding. The more books I read the more I learned and the more stimulated and motivated I became to find my roots. My psychological and emotional senses were greatly heightened knowing that heredity is a key factor in shaping our physical appearance, mental acuteness, preferences, personal characteristics, and personality. When finally in the presence of my biological family, I cognitively recognized that which was intuitively familiar. Perhaps, fewer relinquishments would take place if more individuals understood the consequences and ramifications of their actions.

  2. Judith Land says:

    The way home is a pilgrimage of the road and an ethereal journey of the mind for adoptees—a trip of a lifetime to hallowed ground they are forced to make alone. Along the way, they must learn to comprehend the sublime, and like a good detective, be able to retrace their tracks in the sands of time. Hoping to overcome their downheartedness, they dream of solving the riddle of the maze and finding an easy passage through the fog and haze, but solving the complex mystery of life’s labyrinth to find the way home without a GPS, a roadmap, or a guide to follow is a daunting task they must undertake in solitude.

  3. eagoodlife says:

    Reblogged this on The Life Of Von and commented:
    “Each personal story of adoption is unique, but the theme is universal. Children are separated from their parents due to war, pestilence, accidents, and natural disasters, but most often, they are willfully abandoned due to inconvenience.”

  4. Pingback: Adoption and Conventional Wisdom | Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child

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