Innate forces beyond basic human needs drive self-actualizing people to explore and reach their full human potential. Without action it is impossible to experience profound moments of love, understanding, happiness, rapture, and feelings of being more whole and alive. Paralysis arises from a perception of danger leading to confrontation or an escape from the perceived threat. Dragging ones heels and chronically putting off impending tasks to a later time impedes normal functioning and the habit of chronic procrastination may be a sign of an underlying psychological disorder.
The most burdensome and wearisome hindrances to conquer in life are our own internal fears. Fear triggers chemical changes in the body that affects sleep patterns. Fear is a source of procrastination and a foundation for inert unhappiness. The thought of calling my birth parents triggered spasms of fear and bouts of terror that left me feeling light-headed and faint. The thought of meeting them in person made my heart palpitate rapidly and my mouth go dry. My own self-generated insecurities absorbed vital emotional energy, reduced my physical stamina, shortened my attention span, diminished my mental drive, and triggered delays in action. My thoughts had been shaped by childhood dreams and fantasies that had remained constant for over three decades. Suddenly, the reality of meeting them for the first time stirred my confidence and caused me to become less certain and even frightened at times. Doubts bubbled to the surface leaving me to wonder if the early part of my life was a dark place with evil people with nefarious agendas where I shouldn’t go. Would my actions generate complications and problems as the result of my unwise interference in something from long ago that was tragic and undisturbed? I was initially scorned and coldly rejected on my first attempt to communicate with my birth mother but I refused to give up. Through stubborn perseverance I eventually achieved the result I wanted—conciliation and life-long friendships. Finding my roots and meeting my birth parents was a peak emotional experience—an extraordinary moment of self-actualization that left me feeling more self-directing, emotionally stronger, mentally wiser, and significantly more self-confident with fewer doubts and insecurities. My sense of well-being was liberating and gave me a spontaneous will to live life to the fullest.
My emotional drive to find my biological parents was the fulfillment of a childhood dream. Researching the topic of adoption inspired me to read many books about human psychology and mother-daughter bonding. The more books I read the more I learned and the more stimulated and motivated I became to find my roots. My psychological and emotional senses were greatly heightened knowing that heredity is a key factor in shaping our physical appearance, mental acuteness, preferences, personal characteristics, and personality. Over the years I had developed the habit of studying the faces of strangers to identify others with physical features and ideas similar to my own. After I discovered the identity of my parents, I finally understood what scientists had been saying all along—perhaps it was because the goodness in my heart was an inheritable personality characteristic. Valuing the task at hand is what gives us the confidence to overcome the social stigma of procrastination. Believing in oneself and trusting your own instincts is what is needed to overcome our greatest internal fears that prevent us from taking action.