Planning for an adoption reunion is like rehearsing for a critical job interview—you only have one chance to nail the job interview and make a good first impression. The anticipation of what might happen is highly emotional for many adoptees that worry about further rejection. Adoption reunions can be one of the most drawn-out and intimidating encounters—a once in a lifetime experience where everyone wants to come off as a genuinely likeable person that is poised, articulate and confident. First-time encounters are unique affairs that should be planned and prepared for ahead of time. Participants should learn to visualize positive ways of conducting themselves that reflects their desires and demonstrates how they fit in as valued individuals. Visualizing how these meetings should be arranged ahead of time helps to assure success. Practicing with a friend can be helpful for increasing confidence. Why do some reunions fail while others exceed expectations? Sometimes the lack of preparation is a problem. Other times, people give up too soon because their expectations were too high or unrealistic and their feelings were hurt.
How should reunions with significant others be conducted? What is needed to create positive outcomes? How should you engage the other person? How should you dress knowing that your wardrobe is a sign of your professionalism and competency? What can be done to make sure others picture you as honest, courteous, polite and respectful to others? What questions should you anticipate and what questions should you ask? How much should you learn ahead of time about the other person’s cultural background, heritage, personality, career and family relationships?
Adoption searches often require diligent complex detective work and perseverance. Whereas, adoption reunions require a completely different set of personal skills and attributes. Participants should strive to be amiable and lovable and generate feelings of inspired friendliness. Those who express themselves clearly without mumbling will be better understood. Being broad-minded and tolerant in thought and opinion avoids confrontation and argument. Showing a good moral understanding demonstrates conscientiousness. Showing a strong interest and an eagerness to learn about the other person increases opportunities for friendship. Steadfastness in aim, demonstration of a persistent desire for a continued effort, and a refusal to give up generates interest in future gatherings. The ability to convey motivation and inner reasons for acting increases understanding and patience. The open display of an optimistic nature stimulates buoyancy and cheerfulness. A belief that good prevails over evil shows that you are honest and sincere. Evidence that you are responsible, trustworthy and reliable shows that you are steadfast, mature and dependable. Demonstrating a strong interest in others and an eagerness to learn about them shows that you are devoted and faithful. A practical truthful presentation of things as they are gains trust. Staying calm demonstrates patience. Respecting others and treating these encounters as highly important events in your life by planning ahead and staying people-oriented are the best ways to assure success.
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