“Adopted? Metamorphose yourself into a butterfly.”

Judith Land | Adoption Detective

If you are adopted, spread your wings in the sunshine. Take yourself lightly and catch a little breeze. Visit a flower garden. Remember that not everyone can be a monarch.

Butterflies serve to remind us that adoption is just the beginning of life’s big adventure, not an ending. Remarkably, there is nothing in the early life of a child or a little green caterpillar that gives a hint of the hidden beauty within. With maturity they both eventually metamorphose into an entirely new form.

The adoptee who awakens from their dreams in strangely exotic unfamiliar surroundings, isolated and mysteriously insulated from everything intuitively familiar, must learn that difficult beginnings can still lead to happy endings and successful outcomes. Perhaps, when feeling forsaken, and without knowing why this happened to them, some adoptees view the legal transfer of authority for their health and welfare to strangers nefariously. They perceive their extraction and the process of adoption as having been methodically executed and as efficiently implemented as the severing of the umbilical cord. Symptoms of the primal wound, genealogical bewilderment and post traumatic stress linger in their imaginations. They may even exhibit the psychological trauma of a hapless kidnap victim as they ponder why they were mysteriously separated from their kith and kin, native language, culture, religion and all things familiar. Their true self-identity and connections with their ancestral heritage has been legally vaporized. Their life’s trajectory has been mysteriously altered. By an enigmatic act of fate nature’s plan for them has been unpredictably revised and fundamentally revamped. Their fate is uncertain. Their destiny is unknown. Their true self-identity has vanished and their point of origin is as mysterious as the discovery of Moses floating on the Nile in a reed basket. The adopted child is assigned a new name by strangers and forced into the total immersion learning system—they must adapt to new caregivers, parents, siblings, aunts, uncles and grandparents and learn what other children already know about family relationships, lifestyle, language, climate, physical geography, ethnicity, culture, diet and religion. Altered circumstances creates excitement, bewilderment, anxiety, fear and apprehension, as well as, new opportunities for love, peace, security, and a warm sense of belonging. The transformation from their old life to the new self is in many cases as miraculous as the life of a caterpillar larva who emerges from the dull gray cocoon in the form a flighty young butterfly.

Happiness is achieved by ridding yourself of the cocoon that imprisons you, focusing on the future and looking forward to becoming a mature adult. Maturity is quickened by setting positive goals and purposefully transforming yourself into the person you would like to become. Be inspired to develop the hidden beauty within yourself. Metamorphose your lifestyle, image and personality into a beautiful butterfly—a flying flower to be admired by everyone. Wear something elegant and colorful. Add some color to your lips and cheeks. Polish your toes and fingers. Puff up your chest and let the world know you are somebody. Expand your wings. Charge your solar batteries in the sunshine. Smile and face into the breeze. Go see the world and bring happiness to others.

Judith Land



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About Judith Land

Judith Land lives in Colorado and Arizona with husband and coauthor Martin Land. Judith is a former nurse, retail shop owner, college instructor and avid outdoor person. Her book "Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child" is a true story detailing the journey of Judith Romano, foster child and adoptee, as she discovers fragments of her background, and then sets out to solve the mystery as an adult. She has reached readers in 192 countries. "Mothers and fathers everywhere in the world need to understand that children are forever and always." --Judith Land
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