“Adoption—forgiveness and second chances”

Have you ever wished for forgiveness and the opportunity for a new beginning? What if a beautifully wrapped gift box with a large bow arrived on your doorstep—the most powerful gift you have ever received. Inside is a note from God offering a new beginning, a second chance to do something important over again. What would you chose?

Judith Land | Second Chances

Giving someone the gift of a second chance in life is a profound blessing.

Everyone encounters moral dilemmas in their lives. We all struggle to make the appropriate choices. It is a fact of life that we don’t always make the best decisions. Relationships end for the wrong reasons because we are misunderstood, give up too easily, or take the easy way out. Relinquishment of a biological child is a moral dilemma and major decision that immediately comes to mind. Altering life’s trajectory has infinite consequences for the adopted child and collateral consequences for everyone concerned. Predicting the future is a futile endeavor. There are no assurances that relinquishment will automatically create a better life for the child. Abandonment conceals the truth, alters family relationships and changes the child’s heritage forever. Suffering in silence and longing for affirmative responses as they ponder the fate of their biological child are afflictions birth parents habitually share in common. We all have difficulty foreseeing the future and comprehending the consequences of our actions. That’s why adoption causes so much hand-wringing, second-guessing, self-doubts and insecurities. Accepting responsibility for feeding someone else’s child creates burdensome financial responsibilities with irrevocable legal ramifications for the adoptive parents and psychological wounds to the child. For all these reasons, it is normal to continually reassess, reconsider, and second-guess the consequences of adoption in response to changing conditions and altered circumstances.

Time passes quickly. Those who know they have failed to go in the right direction should know that it is never too late to redeem oneself. Seeking the chance to right a wrong and striving to transform our lives by aiming for a brighter future is a worthy goal. We all know how painful it feels to be misunderstood, the subject of gossip, bullied, ridiculed or judged by others. No one’s perfect. The idea that people deserve a second chance in life is an important American value. Americans are a distinctly optimistic people more inclined to ridicule social conditions, poverty and discrimination than blame individuals for awkward situations. American culture has always rejected the notion that there are inherently bad people. Prevailing attitudes assume that if conditions are altered, most people will be able to lead good lives. With maturity and experience comes wisdom and an ever growing sense of forgiveness. It is a commonly held belief that individuals willing to reshape themselves by fostering behavioral changes that promote personal responsibility, healthy relationships, and positive contributions to society should be forgiven and allowed a second chance. Adoptive parents skeptical about the value of reunions may perceive adoptees as “forever children” that require lifelong support and supervision. They continue to exert dominion over them and reluctantly adjust to the idea that adoptees eventually grow to become mature adults with their own set of principles and moral beliefs.

Striving for a brighter future can only be accomplished by hard work and commitment. To live a purpose driven life we must clearly define our goals; increase self-motivation; establish a positive work ethic; manage stress; become financially literate; learn to effectively communicate; resolve conflicts; and demonstrate leadership. Humanism and enlightenment are the keys to an improved lifestyle, higher moral values and the opportunity for a better life. Europeans who found themselves in legal, financial, social, religious and political trouble came to this country because they were assured of the right to begin an entirely new life. Forgiveness is a profound tenet of Christianity—individuals seeking social forgiveness are fully redeemed and given another chance to begin again. Giving someone the gift of a second chance in life is a blessing and a profound act of kindness.

Judith Land

About Judith Land

Judith Land lives in Colorado and Arizona with husband and coauthor Martin Land. Judith is a former nurse, retail shop owner, college instructor and avid outdoor person. Her book "Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child" is a true story detailing the journey of Judith Romano, foster child and adoptee, as she discovers fragments of her background, and then sets out to solve the mystery as an adult. She has reached readers in 192 countries. "Mothers and fathers everywhere in the world need to understand that children are forever and always." --Judith Land
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8 Responses to “Adoption—forgiveness and second chances”

  1. Pingback: Adoption—a course in miracles! —Judith Land | Adoption Detective | A Novel By Judith Land

  2. eagoodlife says:

    Sadly that beginning again was on the backs of the First Nations peoples who have suffered ever since. Their country was stolen, their land taken without consent, they were massacred and their children stolen. I wonder how they are feeling about forgiveness and how the Lost Feathers are feeling about adoption?

    • Judith Land says:

      Dear Eagoodlife—It is very interesting that you mention this. My husband and I are friends with a Native American medicine man. His entire nation was forced to march out of the state of Colorado during the winter in an event described as the “Trail-of-Tears.” We recently wrote him a letter thanking him for being such a good person and a positive example for others to follow. He is a true spiritual leader, a healer and an inspiration to everyone. He has tremendous insight into the connectedness of all people and all things. He believes in the Great Creator. He is very spiritual and a charismatic leader who commands respect. He has some interesting and unique perspectives and for that reason there are many things about life we can learn from him, including a belief the importance of maintaining an eternal and unbroken connection with our ancestors. He does an excellent job speaking for the people he represents, raising important issues and educating others. The next time we see him I will ask him to speak about the issues you raise. Thanks for calling attention to this issue. I hope others will be inspired to read more about the legacy of the “Lost Feathers” and learn more about the “Lost Birds.” Judith

  3. eagoodlife says:

    Reblogged this on The Life Of Von and commented:
    I wonder how the First Nations’ peoples feel about forgiveness when they had their country stolen, their children stolen and their lives?

    • Judith Land says:

      Dear Eagoodlife—The American and Canadian practices of forcibly separating Native American children from their families continued for more than a century. Many of them were subjected to extreme hardships. The ill-mannered treatment they received created a strong desire to reconnect with their Native American roots, the inherited lands of their fathers and mothers, and the native culture that was offensively taken from them. “Lost Birds” and “Lost Feathers” refer to some of these children, as well as indigenous Black American Indians. Stories of their indigenous origins and true legacy are largely untold and little understood by others. Judith

  4. Pingback: “Adoption and self-determinism” | Adoption Detective | A True Story by Judith Land

  5. Pingback: “Adoption—a correlation between adoption and wilderness survival” | Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child

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