The way home is a pilgrimage of the road and an ethereal journey of the mind for adoptees—a trip of a lifetime to hallowed ground they are forced to make alone. Along the way, they must learn to comprehend the sublime, and like a good detective, be able to retrace their tracks in the sands of time. Hoping to overcome their downheartedness, they dream of solving the riddle of the maze and finding an easy passage through the fog and haze, but solving the complex mystery of life’s labyrinth to find the way home without a GPS, a roadmap, or a guide to follow is a daunting task they must undertake in solitude.
Homesickness is a universal and profoundly nostalgic yearning. Man fears loneliness and longs for contact and communications with others. The state of being isolated and sequestered leads to lonesomeness when the soul is sadly overwhelmed by negative feelings of separation from significant others who are missing. Knowing nothing about their next of kin, unaware of their point of origin, the orphaned, fostered and adopted child feels remarkably alienated and surrounded by emptiness, but they should never be criticized for being immature or lacking fortitude because the distress and desolation they endure are sincere and authentic. They are displaced persons by definition. Overwhelmed by a lack of belonging, they feel disoriented and alienated, even in a crowd. They feel the pain of the refugee, disconnected, alienated and separated from their roots—emotionally stranded on a desolate and baron land. Seeking only mercy on an intrinsic and primal level, regardless of the depths of humiliation they may find, they long to pierce the surface reflection to see what lies in the depths below.
The sentimental adoptee rejects the prosaic thoughts of day-to-day and sees the world in an idealized way. They view life with a sense of mystery and a feeling of excitement. They see far and wide but their senses are most awakened when they catch a fleeting glimpse of the mysterious end point where their self-identity vanishes. The silent threat of darkness beyond the void where their conscious memories end and infinity begins is breathtaking and alluring to them. Lurking in their mind are extrasensory perceptions and paranormal sixth senses they intuitively hope will help them unravel the secrets of the maze. Driven by an unimpeachable desire that exhilarates and arouses within them an awakening, a frightening spark leaps from their soul as the seductions of the past overwhelm them. If only reality could account for itself, they would launch a vision quest to comprehend with empowered insight a surreal vision from God that empirically solves the riddles of the labyrinth and the reasons for their birth.
Judith Land, Adoptee
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