Adoption—a clash between conscience and passion!

Adoption Detective Book | Crimson Passion

“Life is a struggle between our passionate and conscience-driven sides, until we arrive at the conclusion that fostering a belief in atonement and forgiveness is the path that leads to a happy life characterized by romanticism.”—Judith Land

Adoption sparks our private passions and raises our consciousness at every stage of our lives. Attempts to rationalize our thoughts are characterized as a continuous struggle between conscience, logic and reason in favor of the passions of temptations. Adoption galvanizes our perspectives of morality, stimulates social discourse, and triggers opinionated criticism of others. The conscience-driven side of our personality bounces back and forth while striving to discover a balance between legal principles and conventional wisdom.

Most individuals affected by adoption are passionate about their beliefs. They may seek the will of almighty God for their immortal souls as they follow moral doctrines with a religious conviction. Believing that conventionality is not morality and self-righteousness is not religion, the determined Christian has a strong conscience, impassioned self-respect, and strong moral beliefs. Others declare that narrow human doctrines may be substituted for the world redeeming creed of God. The struggle for individuals becomes which opinion is best to adhere to, and how to find a middle ground between the two when their passions go too far.

The battle over the fate and disposition of orphans disposed by war, disease, pestilence, famine, abandonment and societal collapse has been waged by human populations on a global scale for the millennia. Legal and social methods to prevent the abuse of children have been fought by the passionately spirited in churches, courthouses, theatrical political arenas and the United Nations. And yet, there has never been an universal consensus or an international agreement on what is best for all. Ultimately, the decisions that matter most are the ones made by individuals. Birth mothers and fathers who abandon their children may eventually regret their decision and suffer in silence later in life. Some adoptive parents exhibit a genuine sense of compassion and natural love of children and that is why they adopt, but there are others who will never comprehend the profoundness of the primal wound that many adoptees carry with them. These adoptive parents convey negative actions onto their adopted child because they are nefarious by nature. Consequently, there is a conditional kind of love that develops, and they think of their adopted child as their possession, and love will not grow and mature. In an unconditional relationship, the child is loved for who he or she is, which fosters an ever growing love relationship between the parent and child. Orphaned, fostered and adopted children, many of whom suffer the nightmarish effects of the primal wound and a negative sense of genealogical bewilderment, must learn to overcome the past by striving for a better self-image as the key to a better life.

I have always valued freedom and independence. I like being my own person and making my own decisions. Throughout each distinct stage of life, I have always rebelled against individuals who tell me what to do, how to think, or try to establish some form of power and control over me, but never with the idea of overthrowing authority, violating human or divine code, or causing rebellion at home. It is my philosophy, that as we pass through life, we must continuously seek to discover the middle ground between our passionate and conscience-driven sides, until we reach the conclusion that fostering a belief in atonement and forgiveness is the path that leads to a happy life characterized by romanticism.

Judith Land

Adoption Detective Book | Judith Land Blog | Adoption Reunion FAQ’s

Adopción por un choque entre la conciencia y la pasión

About Judith Land

Judith Land lives in Colorado and Arizona with husband and coauthor Martin Land. Judith is a former nurse, retail shop owner, college instructor and avid outdoor person. Her book "Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child" is a true story detailing the journey of Judith Romano, foster child and adoptee, as she discovers fragments of her background, and then sets out to solve the mystery as an adult. She has reached readers in 192 countries. "Mothers and fathers everywhere in the world need to understand that children are forever and always." --Judith Land
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10 Responses to Adoption—a clash between conscience and passion!

  1. lonistel says:

    Adopted parents are virtuous by nature. They exhibit a genuine sense of compassion and a natural love of others, but they must also learn to understand and validate the profound, and develop the skill to encourage love to grow.

    Sadly, this is not true for many adopted children. Some are adopted for a status quo. Such was my case, when my adoptive parents had “their own child” five years after adopting me. I heard in anger, “do not call me mother, I am not your mother” or “no wonder they gave you up” and many other heart piercing words. Mine is not the only adoption gone wrong. We do hear in the news of adoptive parents sending kids back to their foreign country. How heart wrenching.

  2. The thing you have to remember about the bible is that its been changed. Our perception of the written word and the meanings of the words in that book are different from what it was written and what it meant several thousand years ago. Thru the centuries we have engaged in acts of contrition and acts of embellishment. The bible now states that women had nothing to do with how the world was shaped that we are not allowed to do things men can do. Yet theres a defining moment when a woman washed Jesus’s feet and he acknowledged her. Mary Magdalene herself was a disciple and a benefactor for Jesus and a later Pope (Benedict of the 1600’s I think) declared her to be the woman in one of Jesus’s parables and demoted her to a soiled dove. There were several women that worked with and carried the word for Jesus and were not listed as a disciple in most of the mens books. Have you noticed that none of the mens books match how things happened when they lived those times? Have you noticed that Marys book is in the Gnostic Gospels because the Holy Mother Church decided that her words and that of several others that were there as well in those times are not worth the “flock” reading.
    Opening your home your heart your life to a child thats not yours is NOT a sin. Your right, there are so many children in this and so many other countries that need love and support. They are abused, abandoned, starving, raped, denied lifes essentials. And … just another point … Jesus And they were bringing children to him that he might touch them, and the disciples rebuked them. But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them.
    (Mark 10:13-16 ESV)
    Thank you for letting me ramble. Have a really good day ❤ I really appreciate your blog about adoption as I am one of those kids…..

    • apologies my dyslexia kicked in… its supposed to be … Jesus said “and they were bringing…” please forgive that typo 😦

    • Judith Land says:

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts about the Bible. The spectacular transformation of social media and revolution in communication since the internet was invented allows women and men to spontaneously interact with each other worldwide; leading to increased public consciousness of social injustices, world hunger, racial equality, global warming and economic development. Changes in philosophy, interpretation of historic religious doctrine, and ways of thinking through this media can instigate revolutions leading to the decimation of social barriers as impressively as the tearing down of the Berlin Wall.

    • Statistically more adoptions go wrong than in bio families. 97.7 percent of young mothers asked to keep. Who among the buyers is of such character they would cause a real mother a lifetime of immense grief. Adoption is a crime. More children are raped in adoption than in bio families. In order to sell babies the church declared that anyone of single parenting is an orphan. Both Job and Solomon knew taking a woman’s child is a crime.

  3. eagoodlife says:

    ‘Birth mothers and fathers who willingly abandon their own children may eventually regret their decision and suffer in silence later in life. Adopted parents are virtuous by nature’. I’m unable from experience otherwise to agree with either statement. There are few genuinely ‘willingly’ abandonments, any beginning can have any outcome and in my experience there are mothers and fathers who never suffer in silence. Adopted parents may be far from ‘virtuous’ as we know from the many first hand accounts by adoptees – perhaps you were being ironic?

  4. Jane Edwards says:

    I disagree that “Adopted parents are virtuous by nature. They exhibit a genuine sense of compassion and a natural love of others,” (I assume you mean “adoptive.) Some are but others simply have a neurotic need to be parents.

    Adoptive parents like the Capobianco’s have no problem in participating in deceit, wrenching children from loving parents, Others abandon (re-home) their adopted children, abuse then or even kill them. Some adoptive parents are child hoarders, adopting far more children than they can support. Some place responsibility for their happiness on their adopted children, thereby causing these children mental health problems. I could go on and on.

    Money spent bringing children to the US for adoption would be much better spent helping them within their own family, culture, country.

  5. Pingback: “Adoption—picking up the pieces from here on after” | Adoption Detective | A True Story by Judith Land

  6. Pingback: “Adoption—ancient yearnings for a true sense of belonging” | Adoption Detective | A True Story by Judith Land

  7. Pingback: Adoption – Staying afloat | Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child

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