“Preparing for the Adoption Reunion”

“My hands and feet were numb. My heart was racing. I felt panicky. I was considering backing out of my adoption reunion altogether and running away. What if my birth parents didn’t like me?” —Judith Land

The opportunity to meet my birth parents was an once-in-a-lifetime event. The genealogical bewilderment I had experienced all my life was about to conclude with a dramatic crescendo of epic proportions. I was high strung and nervous, but eager to follow through to completion. My emotions were teetering between a jittery state of intense anxiety and excitability and high spirits and exuberance. My wildly erratic mood swings and heart palpitations were outside the natural range of variability for healthy living. My life had become an emotional roller coaster alternating between euphoric emotional highs and melancholic lows, dominated by fear, angst and trepidation. Images of an entirely new self-identity flashed before me.

Adoption Detective | Judith Land

“The thought of meeting my birth parents for the first time made me incredibly nervous and self conscious about my appearance, body language and manner of speaking. I gave considerable thought to what I should say and prepared a list of questions to ask. To overcome my fear, I wrote and memorized a speech, and practiced reading it over and over again in front of a mirror. Every detail was planned and rehearsed to perfection. Finally, after nearly two months my confidence surged. I was ready to face my fears. All of the arrangements were finally in place. I prayed for a successful reunion.” —Judith Land

First impressions were vitally important. I wanted everything to be choreographed perfectly, without a single flaw in my appearance, clothing, posture, or the words I chose to speak. To feign emotional tranquility and perform naturally, my husband had coached me on what to say, and how to project a positive image. I was aware that my birth family would be watching and judging me from every angle and perspective. Using psycho-cybernetics techniques to polish my performance, and ensure a positive outcome, I visualized myself as an actress and rehearsed my lines in front of a mirror over and over again. I evaluated my body language, voice inflections, facial expressions, and choice of words.

When I was finally ready, I accepted an invitation to meet my birth family in person. The adoption reunion I had been seeking with them in my dreams was becoming reality. The big day was finally here. I was about to enter a completely new world that would radically alter my self-identity. I felt like a canary about to fly from its cage for the first time.

Part 2 – The most botched adoption reunion ever?

 

http://www.adoptiondetectivejudithland.com

Judith Land | Adoption FAQ’s | Adoption Detective Book

Adoption Reunion | Adoption Story | Adoption Blogs | Xenophobia Parentis

Подготовка к воссоединению усыновления | Pregătirea pentru reuniunea adoptare

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About Judith Land

Judith Land lives in Colorado and Arizona with husband and coauthor Martin Land. Judith is a former nurse, retail shop owner, college instructor and avid outdoor person. Her book "Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child" is a true story detailing the journey of Judith Romano, foster child and adoptee, as she discovers fragments of her background, and then sets out to solve the mystery as an adult. "Mothers and fathers everywhere in the world need to understand that children are forever and always." --Judith Land
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7 Responses to “Preparing for the Adoption Reunion”

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