“Are adoptees victims of circumstance?”

“Happiness is affected by life circumstances and situations, but the majority of happiness is subject to self-control—the product of character, temperament, personality and disposition.”  ―Judith Land

The greatest lesson for adoptees to learn is that happiness depends on attitudes, outlook and human nature, and less upon events and circumstances. Children who are orphaned, fostered and adopted may perceive themselves as “victims of circumstances” because they have no control over the pivotal events that radically altered their life’s trajectory. The unnatural separation from birth parents may cause them to subliminally exhibit classic psychological effects of the primal wound, post traumatic stress disorder, and display other character traits sometimes referred to as adoption syndrome. In some cases, separation from biological antecedents, native language, geographic region, social group, and cultural heritage evokes a nefarious sense of genealogical bewilderment that may be a contributing cause of selective mutism, anti-social behavior, and produce an inherent need for a more comprehensive self-identity.

Gary Lee Price’s 11-foot sculpture "Celebration!" in the K. Newby sculpture garden in Tubac, Arizona, featuring joyous children celebrating life and soaring around a globe captures the unique human spirit. Gary muses, "I hope I can assist the world in visualizing a place where fences and boundaries, both real and imagined, are non-existent; a place where bias and prejudice are long forgotten; and finally, a place where acts of kindness, mutual respect, and love are everyday happenings."

Gary Lee Price’s 11-foot sculpture “Celebration!” in the K. Newby sculpture garden in Tubac, Arizona, featuring joyous children celebrating life and soaring around a globe captures the unique human spirit. Gary muses, “I hope I can assist the world in visualizing a place where fences and boundaries, both real and imagined, are non-existent; a place where bias and prejudice are long forgotten; and finally, a place where acts of kindness, mutual respect, and love are everyday happenings.”

“Happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being defined by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. Happiness can be elicited by seeing a significant other, when basking in the acceptance of others, and encountering unexpected positive events. The pursuit of happiness is a universal belief and the right of all free people.” Judith Land

Adoptees seeking a positive outcome in life must learn to avoid blaming their state of affairs on past events, lifestyles, conditions, relationships, and the environment. This is the lesson we learn from the most endearing adoption stories of all time. That is why Little Orphan Annie, Anne of Green Gables, Oliver Twist, and Heidi, have remained universally popular with people of all ages for many generations. What the main characters all have in common is an optimistic personality with a positive outlook. They have the ability to transcend adverse circumstances, overcome misery, and avoid the trapdoor of despondency. Their happiness is defined by their own free will, based on a desire to improve their state of affairs through hard work, a positive attitude, diligence, and a desire to help others; in the end they all succeed. Comparing the adventures of others to our own lives benefits us by increasing our awareness and understanding of what it means to be adopted. Good stories expand our thinking, create extraordinary experiences, stimulate opportunities for profound moments of love, and help us learn that happiness is ultimately a product of our own temperament.

Judith Land

 

 

 

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Judith Land | Adoption FAQ’s | Adoption Detective Book

http://www.adoptiondetectivejudithland.com

 

About Judith Land

Judith Land lives in Colorado and Arizona with husband and coauthor Martin Land. Judith is a former nurse, retail shop owner, college instructor and avid outdoor person. Her book "Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child" is a true story detailing the journey of Judith Romano, foster child and adoptee, as she discovers fragments of her background, and then sets out to solve the mystery as an adult. "Mothers and fathers everywhere in the world need to understand that children are forever and always." --Judith Land
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5 Responses to “Are adoptees victims of circumstance?”

  1. Pingback: “Adoption search—a sense of urgency!” | Adoption Detective | A True Story by Judith Land

  2. Reblogged this on Terre Libanaise and commented:
    “I was so excited that I nearly knocked the floor lamp over when I jumped up and pumped my fist into the air. I turned around in a complete circle dancing for joy. I finally hit the jackpot. I found my birth mother. My family circumstances as an adoptee weren’t always perfect but I learned to make the best of my situation. I always had the desire to improve my circumstances and overcome adversity. It took hard work and extreme diligence but in the end I found contentment and happiness when I found my birth family.” Judith Land

  3. Murray Legro says:

    yes . If the spilt milk keeps maiing you fall over it is time to mop up the flooor and clear the milk. No matter what has happened in the past we are really the masters/mistresses of our own future with no

    • Judith Land says:

      What you say is true. Destiny is not always preordained. Life is about making choices. Our lives are the sum of all the choices we make, the bridges we cross, and the ones we burn. Our souls cast long shadows over many people, even after we are gone. Fate, luck, and providence are the consequence of our freedom of choice, not the determinants. When justice is served by following our principles, making good decisions brings us inner peace.

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