“Human performance is a continuous decision-making process of choosing between alternatives and the greatest of all human aptitudes is the faculty for making intelligent choices. The ability to classify the objectives and place them in order of importance is the primary objective of decision-making. I prefer the ‘Choosing by Advantages’ method of decision-making because only the positive values assigned to each attribute are ascribed to the alternatives.” —Judith Land
“Que sera, sera, whatever will be, will be” is a romantic expression we hear people say when they are stuck in a hopeless situation that can’t be altered but they have come to accept. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could all live in a youthful imaginary world where our lives were predictable, filled with daily excitement, and preoccupied with affectionate thoughts of romantic love? Unfortunately, the world is filled with unexpected changes and challenges. People get sick. Accidents happen. Death comes knocking. We make bad choices. Unplanned pregnancies occur. Relationships fizzle. When these events happen, it is important we exercise the greatest of all human aptitudes—the ability to make intelligent choices.
Making good decisions is how we improve the quality of life. “Choosing by Advantages” is a breakthrough method in the art of decision-making used worldwide by successful individuals, corporate executives and government leaders. Positive values are assigned to each attribute and the objectives are classified based on the order of importance. Chess masters, coaches, doctors, lawyers, scientists, engineers, politicians and military strategists learn to compete by employing sound methods that identify the advantages of alternatives based on relevant facts. They conduct extensive research, define the problem, agree on procedures and select an analysis process before entering the decision-making phase. They weigh evaluation criteria, agree on the facts, select alternatives, and determine a recommended course of action before making final choices. Before flying a jet airplane, constructing a bridge, winning an athletic contest, healing the sick, or going to war, they learn to make sound choices based on the decision-making skills they are taught.
Individuals who are unmindful of sound decision-making practices are more prone to worries, apprehension and buyer’s remorse—a lingering sense of having made the wrong choice or a suspicion of having been overly influenced by others—something they may later regret. Mothers and fathers weighing the alternative of waiving their parental rights and adoptive parents hoping to provide a better world for someone else’s child must first analyze the alternatives and evaluate changes to their family mission, values, lifestyle, finances and long-term goals. Those lacking maturity, experience, moral support, education, and financial resources, may have difficulty weighing the alternatives and uncertainty about how to proceed. The lack of an organized and informed decision-making process may leave some individuals uninformed about afflictions that may be harmful to the child, including the primal wound, post traumatic stress, selective mutism, oppositional anti-social behavior, and other psychological effects. Adopted children lacking a true self-identity, medical history, and knowledge of their place of origin may feel unheralded and anonymous later in life. Distress and angst may lead them to hesitate before initiating an adoption search because they fear hurting the adoptive parents and what they might discover. The absence of a tangible decision-making process triggers indecision, apprehension, and procrastination and leaves individuals on all sides of the adoption triangle torn between choices because they have no discernible way of knowing which alternative is best.
If more people were better informed, and skilled at making sound decisions, the world would be a better place. The first step to making sound decisions that permanently alter the lifestyle, character, family relationships, and self-identity of children is the identification of a sound decision-making process.
proceso de toma de decisión de adopción
Pingback: Adoption—using an intermediary, friend or relative to contact the birth mother —Judith Land, author & adoptee | Adoption Detective | A Novel By Judith Land
Pingback: Adoption—a course in miracles! —Judith Land | Adoption Detective | A Novel By Judith Land