“Adoption—fear of the unknown, trepidation, foreboding angst and powerless”

“Fear of the unknown leaves some adoptees paralyzed in a bewildered state of trepidation, quietude, and foreboding angst—openmouthed, impotent and powerless to act decisively or rationally, the enigmatic value of their biological fortune remains an obscure mystery—an eternally suspended fantasy.”—Judith Land

Judith Land | Adoption Detective | Fear of the Unknown

A scared child shows fear in an uncertain environment. Fear causes some adoptees to become unsteady and emotionally paralyzed when thinking about doing an adoption search. They are afraid to take the path they want to because of the perceived dangers that might lay ahead. Their fears may be based on circumstances that are real or fueled by a fear of the unknown that paralyzes them. (Photo by Martin Land, The Iguana Under my Lawnchair, Mazatlan, Mexico)

Fear is an emotion, usually related to future events, that stimulates the urge to flee the situation, confront the perpetrator, or in extreme cases causes a frozen paralysis response. Fear causes a change in brain and organ function and ultimately a change in behavior including procrastination. Circumstances in life that make survival difficult create crippling emotional pressure when outcomes are uncharted and unsettled. Fear is based on circumstances that are real or perceived dangers that something bad might happen. Humans fear threats to security, risks to survival, diminished health, loss of personal relationships and the potential destruction of anything held valuable. Adoptees are naturally more vulnerable toward a lowered self-esteem as the consequence of a damaged and incomplete self-identity resulting from feelings of rejection, abandonment and desertion by their original parents. There is an underlying fear that something is nefariously wrong for their parents to have given him or her away. The greater the perceived fear of the unknown, the more likely they are to reject the idea of an adoption search. Without transparency, understanding, or rational explanation, some adoptees may be haunted throughout their entire lifetime by mystical dreams and ghostly images of their afflicted biological antecedents.

“Overcoming fear of the unknown to rid oneself of distress and torment is a monumental task requiring maturity, an enduring purpose driven life, and strength of character formed by a durable commitment to substantive values.” —Judith Land


Judith Land | Adoption FAQ’s | Adoption Detective Book


About Judith Land

Judith Land lives in Colorado and Arizona with husband and coauthor Martin Land. Judith is a former nurse, retail shop owner, college instructor and avid outdoor person. Her book "Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child" is a true story detailing the journey of Judith Romano, foster child and adoptee, as she discovers fragments of her background, and then sets out to solve the mystery as an adult. She has reached readers in 192 countries. "Mothers and fathers everywhere in the world need to understand that children are forever and always." --Judith Land
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