“Adoption—destiny and ancestral recovery”

“Destiny is not always preordained. Life is about making choices. Our lives are the sum of all the choices we make, the bridges we cross, and the ones we burn. Our souls cast long shadows over many people, even after we are gone. Fate, luck, and providence are the consequence of our freedom of choice, not the determinants. When justice is served by following our principles, making good decisions brings us inner peace.”  —Judith Land

“When finally in the presence of my biological family, I cognitively recognized that which was intuitively familiar.” Judith Land pensively contemplating life’s journey in her reflection on a private estate in Bellagio, Lake Como, Italy.

After many years of searching for my ancestral roots I learned that destiny is not always preordained—life is about making choices; an adventure of our own making; the product of our own choosing. When I began searching for my birth mother, I had no idea the journey would evolve into such a grand and glorious voyage of the heart and mind and soul affecting the lives of so many individuals. Ancestral recovery was a peak emotional experience, an extraordinary adventure that took my breath away, liberated my spirit, and gave me the confidence to soar like an eagle. At this point in my life I have much to be thankful for and many reasons to celebrate. Happiness is a mental state of well-being characterized by positive emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.

Adoption is a familiar theme among all people that encourages group reminiscing about romantic fairy tales, fables, mysteries, historic legends, shaggy-dog stories, and tragic folk tales. The worldwide popularity of stories such as Little Orphan Annie, Anne of Green GablesOliver Twist and Heidi transcend all ages, cultures and languages. Each personal story is unique but the theme is universal. Children are separated from their parents due to war, pestilence, accidents, and natural disasters, but, most often, they are willfully abandoned due to inconvenience. When I was a child, I was unstable and lonely but after I found my true self-identity, I felt whole, steady and confident. My youth had been quietly spent wondering and longing for something intangible that I had perceived was missing in my life. My senses were greatly heightened during my adoption search. What had started as a simple investigation to learn something about my ancestry slowly evolved into a complex trilogy. Immediately after the discovery of my birth parents, I initiated a second search to uncover the secret identity of my foster parents, which eventually lead to an investigation to determine why my adopted father had mysteriously gone missing. I had three separate mysteries to solve. The solution to one riddle was followed by another conundrum concealed inside a labyrinth. Eventually, I imagined myself as an adoption detective caught up in a mystery novel whose mission never ended. My life’s trajectory had been radically altered and my youth was perpetually unsettled. My life was characterized as a series of significant events, discovered through my incessant ambition, followed by major breakthroughs during the long tedious process of detection, deduction and exposure. My destiny became a continuing work in progress over a period of many years as my mission to uncover the truth evolved into a never-ending state of fluctuation. When everything finally came together in the end the final chapter of my adoption journey was reminiscent of a rousing classical orchestral ending with the round percussion cymbals making three satisfying crash-bang-wallops in succession.

Most things of value in life take time and commitment to complete. Every great story on the planet happens when someone decides not to give up, but to keep going no matter what. We must learn to do what is right, not what is acceptable, because life is very good when we make the right choices. Happiness does not depend on material wealth or world traveling. It comes from following our own free will, finding the beauty of the environment and building positive relationships with significant others. Perhaps, fewer relinquishments would take place if more individuals understood the consequences and ramifications of their actions.

Judith Land, adoptee & author

 

http://www.adoptiondetectivejudithland.com

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About Judith Land

Judith Land lives in Colorado and Arizona with husband and coauthor Martin Land. Judith is a former nurse, retail shop owner, college instructor and avid outdoor person. Her book "Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child" is a true story detailing the journey of Judith Romano, foster child and adoptee, as she discovers fragments of her background, and then sets out to solve the mystery as an adult. "Mothers and fathers everywhere in the world need to understand that children are forever and always." --Judith Land
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4 Responses to “Adoption—destiny and ancestral recovery”

  1. Judith I do not know how or why I found you but I somehow know more in 5 min. from reading you Q&A than my son has been able to put in words I know he loves me and without a doubt he knows I never stopped loving him. I have no idea where we will go from here maybe he is disappointed in me on the other hand I am a pretty strong woman since we found each other Everything I have ever did finally made all the sense in the world to me. I always knew I had a angel that protected me it was God who got me through those times to see him but after hours of talking on the phone and we finally met and spent hours together he went back to his parents and they were so hurt to see so much joy on his face and heart filled with love he said it was one of the worst days of his life. I wanted to hug him and tell him it would get better but he shut down so as to stop the hurt from finding me. Such a screwed up mess. Hard for me to help him as when I do I hurt them and that is the last thing I would ever want to do. They were my ANGELS. I only saw them in a book but I made a promise to God that if he kept him safe I would endure anything. I did at times but know I am blessed. Thanks for listening.

    Your husband works in a field my son knows well SNOW and it was your state he ran away to to start his new life how wonderfully strange is that!

    I want to buy you book and send to him to maybe let him see he is not alone in all those thought he had now for 36 years. He said he never told people he was adopted. Now they all know I think

    🙂

    Eunice

    • Judith Land says:

      Eunice: I am happy for you and your son. With maturity most of us think of others with growing wisdom and in the spirit of forgiveness. Every book we read opens new horizons for us and helps us to become well in this age of illness and anxiety—individuals who don’t read have no advantage over those who can’t. Judith

  2. Pingback: “Adoption—picking up the pieces from here on after” | Adoption Detective | A True Story by Judith Land

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