“The process of conducting an adoption search requires resilience to conquer adversity, perseverance to overcome injustice, and persistence to achieve your goal.” –Judith Land

Reunions with biologically related individuals have the potential to enhance the lives of everyone concerned, even when continuing relationships with family members are not sustainable. Reunions help many adoptees gain a more comprehensive identity. Being able to recognize some aspects of themselves in members of their birth family, to know someone they look like, with similar personality characteristics, talents, and intellect, are intriguing to them. For many adoptees the search for self-identity results in feelings of more self-confidence, of being healed, and more at peace, which may be as important as the finding of biological parents.
People of accomplishment rarely sit back and let things happen to them. Highly successful individuals worldwide exhibit many of the same personal attributes that produce winning results in every profession. Individuals hoping to discover their roots and reunite with biological family members can increase their chances of success by concentrating on developing many of the same proven positive personal attributes.
Ambition helps define goals and formulate plans. To be yourself in a world that is trying to make you something else is one of the world’s greatest accomplishments. No plan requiring determination and hard work to achieve success is ever carried out without a strong desire to achieve something positive.
Vision defines the way to the destination. The formation of a vivid mental image that defines the purpose, target and a worthy goal is derived from the ability to think about and plan what the future could be like. Well-being is a combination of feeling good as well as having meaning, good relationships and accomplishment and should be included as an integral element of the vision.
Confidence is needed to master techniques that assure success. Self-confidence, assertiveness, courage and poise arising from the appreciation of one’s own abilities and qualities produce a state of feeling certain about the truth with conviction.
Risk taking assures the highest reward for the lowest risk. Risk is ubiquitous and inescapable in all areas of life. Every human endeavor carries the potential for gaining or losing something of value, including emotional well-being. Practicing social etiquette and conventional decorum suggests dignity and a sense of being appropriate during encounters with strangers when exposing oneself to the possibility of something unpleasant occurring.
Drive and Energy increase momentum and sustain performance. The drive to succeed is the degree of determination and ambition a person has to achieve a particular purpose, the same way that athletes train to achieve success. Many adoption searches require a doggedness dedication, ambition, and willpower combined with zeal for action and a tenacious commitment in order to unravel the mysteries of their birth. Self-criticism leads to self-improvement and avoidance of errors. Introspection is the examination and observation of one’s own thoughts and feelings and emotional processes and the ability to reflect and examine our mental state spiritually, cognitively and emotionally. It is the capacity of humans to exercise introspection to learn more about our fundamental nature, purpose and essence that leads to an increase in awareness and consciousness.
Mission is the hardheaded plan founded on realistic facts. Mission is the ambition to accomplish an important assignment based on a calling, a goal, and a quest driven by life’s ambition that can only be successful if solidly based on truth and precise details rather than assertion or proclamation. Individuals separated from kith and kin at an early age who experience feelings of being unheralded and anonymous may have great difficulty solving the mystery of their family tree. Discovery of the reasons for their altered life’s trajectory while navigating the labyrinth of life is an ethereal journey of the mind for them. The mission to discover their roots is a strongly felt aim and discipline is the bridge between goals and the accomplishment of that dream.
Looking Ahead helps to stay focused on future goals and opportunities. Steadfastly casting one’s gaze forward and concentrating on the potential rewards of crossing the finish line is what it takes to create the right set of circumstances that make it possible to create a window of opportunity and accomplish something of importance.
Judith Land
http://www.adoptiondetectivejudithland.com
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The Life of Von – […] While I agree with the first part of what Judith Land has written in her post on search and reunion, I find it very hard to see the relevance for me in developing qualities for the purpose. Perhaps I’m now too long in the tooth, unwilling to change and don’t find the rewards sufficient. At the time I was grateful for the information and particularly for the foundation I had been given which made sense of my life.
Dear Von,
“The way home is a pilgrimage of the road and an ethereal journey of the mind for many adoptees—a trip of a lifetime to hallowed ground they are forced to make alone. Along the way, they must learn to comprehend the sublime, and like a good detective, be able to retrace their tracks in the sands of time. Hoping to overcome their downheartedness, they dream of solving the riddle of the maze and finding an easy passage through the fog and haze, but solving the complex mystery of life’s labyrinth to find the way home without a GPS, a roadmap, or a guide to follow is a daunting task they must undertake in solitude.”
Judith Land