“At that moment I needed spontaneous love and assurance because it was disappointing knowing Rosella was not my real mother, but my body language remained rigid, and I reacted tentatively by internalizing my opinions and feelings.” —Judith Land
It was difficult expressing myself because I was uncomfortable. I was baffled about why I was adopted, and curious to know if any of my girlfriends had also been adopted. I was happy knowing that my parents chose me because I was special, but I wondered in hindsight if the deepest part of my brain was already cognizant of our genetic dissimilarities. Knowing that I was adopted caused me to be more aware of my unique individuality and temperament. My dreams and fantasies became dominated by ghostly images of my birth mother and the idea of connecting with her became a spiritual goal. From a humorous standpoint, I was pleased to know I was adopted and quick to distance myself from my adopted parents whenever they did something embarrassing in public.
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