“Adoption—how did you feel when you were told that you were adopted?”

“At that moment I needed spontaneous love and assurance because it was disappointing knowing Rosella was not my real mother, but my body language remained rigid, and I reacted tentatively by internalizing my opinions and feelings.” —Judith Land

Parents with an adopted child wonder whether, when, and how to tell their child that he or she is adopted. They also want to know if adopted children face special problems or challenges.

It was difficult expressing myself because I was uncomfortable. I was baffled about why I was adopted, and curious to know if any of my girlfriends had also been adopted. I was happy knowing that my parents chose me because I was special, but I wondered in hindsight if the deepest part of my brain was already cognizant of our genetic dissimilarities. Knowing that I was adopted caused me to be more aware of my unique individuality and temperament. My dreams and fantasies became dominated by ghostly images of my birth mother and the idea of connecting with her became a spiritual goal. From a humorous standpoint, I was pleased to know I was adopted and quick to distance myself from my adopted parents whenever they did something embarrassing in public.


Adoption Story | Adoption Search | Genealogical Bewilderment | Adoption Detective

Judith Land | Adoption FAQ’s | Adoption Detective Book



About Judith Land

Judith Land lives in Colorado and Arizona with husband and coauthor Martin Land. Judith is a former nurse, retail shop owner, college instructor and avid outdoor person. Her book "Adoption Detective: Memoir of an Adopted Child" is a true story detailing the journey of Judith Romano, foster child and adoptee, as she discovers fragments of her background, and then sets out to solve the mystery as an adult. "Mothers and fathers everywhere in the world need to understand that children are forever and always." --Judith Land
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